Dear So and So: I'm back baby!

OMG, 3 posts in 1 week? What's going on here?
I haven't done a Dear So and So in AGES and thought it was time.

Dear Al Gore,

If you could let Europe know about Global Warming I'd really appreciate it.  It's freaking cold!

F-f-f-freezing,
MiHH


Dear cold weather,

If you're going to stick around, could you at least drop some snow on us so Indy can play in it and stop griping about how we have no snow? I'd appreciate it and so would he.

Annoyed,
MiHH


Dear Andrew Marlowe,

I'd really appreciate it if you'd quit screwing around and get over the Moonlighting curse fear and get Castle and Beckett together already. All this dancing around is getting old and making me angry. Not enough to quit watching the show because I ♥ it, but still. Just don't do it the way Hart Hanson did on Bones.

Faithful (but annoyed) viewer,
MiHH


Dear James Bond,

The name of the movie War Horse. Yes, it is about a horse! It has "horse" in the title. Why so surprised? Also, it's about a war. Just so we're clear.

Confused (it has "horse" IN the name!),
Your Wife (you don't have to call me MiHH)


Dear Han Solo,

I know that learning to crawl is awesome and all, but if you could not touch everything except the millions of toys you have to play with, I'd appreciate it a lot. Also, sitting on the floor with your fists clinched and arms rigid straight out in front of you, yelling at me because I pulled you away from the bookcase/cabinet/end table/ect. is not cool. Cute in it's own way, I admit, but not cool.

Not looking forward to you walking,
Mommy


Dear Dishwasher,

Why don't you load yourself?

Angry at the constantly messy kitchen,
MiHH


Dear Vacuum,

If you could run yourself too, that would be great. Han Solo is now crawling and keeping the rugs clean is now even more important.

Angry at the dog hair on the carpet,
MiHH


Dear Broom,

Ditto what I said to the vacuum.

Angry at the dog hair on the floor,
MiHH


Dear Dogs,

If you could stop shedding, that would be great. See notes to vacuum and broom above.

Thinking of shaving you,
Mommy

Dear So and So: It's been a long time

I can't believe how long it's been since I did a Dear So and So! Bad, bad me!
If you're not familiar with it, Dear So and So is run by Kat over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow and gives you the opportunity to write letters to anyone who had, um, annoyed you. You should try it, you'll feel better. Oh, you can write nice letters, but they're not nearly as much fun.

Dear Guy in the car in front of me at the PX gate,

Look, we've had to show our ID cards to get onto the various posts since 2001. TWO THOUSAND ONE. That's 10 years now. TEN. YEARS. You should know by now you need to have your ID card out of your wallet and ready to give to the guard. It should not take you 5 bloody minutes to unbuckle your seat belt, get out your wallet, and then fish through it for your ID card. You are obviously American and even if you are new to the area, you are driving a car, which means you've had to take the test, which means you have been on post before. Probably multiple times. Have your damn ID card ready. I've got things to do and a kid to get to summer camp. I don't have time for your stupidity.

Annoyed,
MiHH


Dear Lady in line in front of me at the commissary,

Please refer to the letter above re: having your ID ready.  You know you have to show it before check out.  Don't act like it's the first time you've ever been in the commissary.  I've seen you there before.

Annoyed,
MiHH


Dear Mother Nature,

What is going on with you? Two weeks ago Indy and I were freezing our bums off in Paris, then it was in the upper 90's and now we're back in the 60's? Could you just pick something and stick with it? Please? Also, if you're going to pick something, I'd suggest picking on the cool side. I am ridiculously pale and frighten small children when I wear shorts.

Constantly changing my wardrobe because you can't make up your mind,
MiHH


Dear manufacturers of baby bibs,

You know that hard part of Velcro?  Yeah, that should go on the part of the bib that faces down, not up.  Poor Han Solo has scratched on his sweet little neck where he moves around and the Velcro slips, and it scratches him.

Angry mom,
MiHH


Dear Canada,

I'm insanely jealous of you.  You get Prince William and Catherine for over a week, and many of you are bilingual.  Happy Canada Day!  Eh?

Your friend from below the boarder,
MiHH
Dear Jose Baez,

You make me want to take a Purell bath.  I wouldn't let you notarize a piece of paper for me.

Skeeved by you,
MiHH


Dear Casey Anthony,

You know you did it.

Not respectfully,
MiHH


Dear Judge Perry,

You don't put up with any shenanigans from either side.  I ♥ you.  I adore your slow, no nonsense speech and your long suffering looks.

Hoping you get your own show,
MiHH


Whew, I feel better!  Click the button at the top to read the others and have a great weekend!

Dear So and So: Sick Dogs and stubborn contractions

Kat is back baby and so is Dear So and So! Huzzah!!!!




Dear Dutch and Arf,

Really? Two of you sick at the same time? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! The house already smelled like ass, but now it smells like double ass. Oh, the horror! I suppose the waking up to take you out every 2 hours is good practice for when Han Solo is born, and I know you're not doing it on purpose, but for goodness sake, you need to get better ASAP. I can't take it anymore!  Feel better soon my little loves!

Tired,
MiHH


Dear Coco,

Please do not get sick too.  I don't think we could handle cleaning up any more poo and vomit that we already have.  Don't get sick and I'll let you have an extra treat.  That's right, I'm not above bribery.

Holder of the treat bag,
MiHH


Dear Weather,

Could you make up your mind? That is all.

Annoyed,
MiHH


Dear Contractions,

If you're not going to progress me, could you please stop? You're very painful and making me crankier cranky.  If you want to progress me and bring Han Solo into the world, then by all means, continue.  Otherwise, knock it the hell off.

Painfully,
MiHH


Dear Flash Mobs,

I so long to be a part of you.  I can totally dance. Let's do something to Abba, shall we?  Call or text  me.

The Dancing Queen,
MiHH


Dear Kat,

A deal is a deal!  You lost a stone (14lbs) and I fully expect to see you do a cart wheel on your blog.  

Happy it's not me (but still glad you're back!),
MiHH


Dear Readers,

Got something to say?  Write some letters   click the button at the top and link 'em up!  You won't be sorry!

Sincerely,
MiHH

Dear So and So: Pregnancy, movies and other nonsense

Ah, Friday! That day when I get to let out my inner evil. Okay, so my inner evil, isn't really all that inner, as it get let out more often than I keep it in, but you know what I mean. I likes Fridays! On with the letters!



Dear Pregnancy,

You suck.

Sick of you,
MIHH



Dear Hormones,

Please see above letter to Pregnancy. You also suck, and I'm tired of going from one extreme to the other. Poor James Bond doesn't know whether I'll laugh or cry at any given moment. Although this does seem to keep him on his toes, so maybe you're not all bad. If you could cut out the night sweats and making me cry over the stupidest little thing though, my life would be much easier (though I still might keep James Bond jumpy just for fun) .

Confused,
MIHH



Dear Han Solo,

I get it. You don't like my left kidney. I don't know what it did to you, but I'm sure it's sorry, so if you could please for the love of all that is holy, stop kicking it, I would really, really appreciate it. People looks at me like I've lost my mind when I suddenly double over for no apparent reason.

Love,
MIHH (Mommy)



Dear 3rd Trimester,

While I'm ridiculously happy to see you, I am less than please that you decided to bring my old nemesis with you: Exhaustion. What gives? I could see Exhaustion coming along with 1st Trimester (believe me, 1st Trimester and I have had serious words in the past and are not friends), I was NOT prepared for him to show up when you arrived. Really, needing sleeping 16 hours a day is completely unacceptable. I've got stuff to do! If you could please send him away, I'd much appreciate it.

Tiredly,
MIHH



Dear Appetite,

I'd really like for you to come back. What happened? Did Exhaustion scare you off?  WHY?  Han Solo gets very, very, VERY angry when I don't feed him (and might possibly taking it out on my kidney) and your absence has made that very difficult.  If you could please come back, I promise to only feed you yummy things.

Not hungrily,
MIHH



Dear Home wrecker Angeline Jolie,

I saw 2 (TWO!!) movies staring you this week.  I can't believe it.  James Bond really wanted to see The Tourist and Salt.  I was on the fence over The Tourist, as it has my beloved Johnny Depp (call me!) in it too and finally agreed to see it.  While you were in it far more than he (that's just bad directing, IMO), I actually enjoyed it.  Even though James Bond figured the entire plot out in the first 20 minutes and then proceeded to tell me (I HATE when he does that-which is all.the.bloody.time), it wasn't a bad movie.  I'm sure you were airbrushed to within and inch of your life (what's with all the tats?), but you looked fab.  And I kind of hate you for it.  Scratch that.  I really hate you for that.  You've had 3 kids.  Where's the cellulite???  The next day we saw Salt, which was originally supposed to star my most hated movie star, Tom Cruise (that's right, Tom, Matt Lauer may have forgiven you, but I NEVER will).  I have to say, it was was kick ass movie.  Though how your hair still looks perfect after wearing a knit cap over it for hours is beyond me.  I'm calling complete BS on that.  I would NOT have watched it with TC in it, and almost didn't watch it because of you, but again, I did it for James Bond.  I may not like what you and Brad did (oh, that's right, I haven't forgotten about you, Mr. Pitt!), but I respect your talent.  Now, don't ever, ever, EVER kiss my Johnny again.  I mean that.   We might have to have words.

Respectfully?
MIHH


Dear Johnny Depp,

I know it was just a movie, but you may as well have stabbed me in the heart when you kissed that woman.  Multiple times!  How could you?  Oh, I'll forgive you (you know I can't stay mad at you for long), but just know that I'm deeply wounded.  A trip to your private island might make me feel better though.  Just a thought.

Still loving you after all these years,
MIHH



Dear High School Reunion,

I got the save the date card this week.  I think you sent it to the wrong person.  I'm not old enough to have been out of school for 20 years.  Am I?  REALLY?  No, surely not.  I happened to be talking to my dad and mentioned it to him.  He said HE is not old enough to have a child who has been out of high school for 20 years, so you see, it's not just me.  20 years?  Seriously?

Feeling old,
MIHH



Dear Girl Scouts,

I bought your deliciously overpriced cookies last week (I even featured you in last week's Dear So and So).  Please stop tormenting me.  You are camped out in front of the post office, PX, commissary and Shoppette.  I cannot avoid you.  LEAVE ME ALONE!  I don't want anymore of your cookies.  OMG, that's a totally lie, I so do.  They're too expensive and don't last long enough (I haven't figured out why).  Even my Appetite shows up for them.

Wishing I were face first in a box of Thin Mints,
MIHH



Dear Blog Signature,

What is UP with you????  Why are you working and then not working????  Get yourself together, will ya?

Kthnxbye,
MIHH



Okay, dear readers, if you have something you need to get off your chest, head on over to the super awesome (and I'm not just sucking up here) Kat's and link up your own letters.

Dear So and So: Eating cookies in the dark

Oh, Friday.  The day most of the world looks forward to with a passion.  If you're a SAHM though...eh.  It's just another day.  For those new followers (hi!!!!) who might not know. Kat over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow hosts an awesome blog party every Friday where you can write letters to anyone who has annoyed you this week.

Dear Girl Scouts,

$3.50 for a box of cookies?  Are you kidding?  Yes, your cookies are oh-so-delicious, but $3.50 a box????  Back when I sold them, they were $1.50 a box.  And don't think I haven't noticed that the cookies are smaller and the box holds less.  Oh, I'm on to you.  Charging more for less.  And you're only available once a year, making it almost impossible to pass you up.  PLUS, I'm pregnant.  You evil wenches know a pregnant lady can't pass up Thin Mints.  Evil.  You're evil.

Wiping the chocolate off my face,
MIHH


Dear Han Solo,

If you could lay off with the kidney kicking, I'd really appreciate it.  It hurts.

Sincerely,
MIHH (but you can call me Mommy)


Dear Lady driving the ridiculously large truck,

You will NOT fit into those tiny little parking space.  It is made for compact cars, which you are not.  There are larger spaces about 10 feet away, so stop trying to park in the compact spots.  BTW, I'd like the 8 minutes of my time you wasted (yes, I looked at the clock) while I couldn't back out of my own parking space because you were blocking the aisle trying (without success, I might add) to fit your big ass truck into a parking space made for a Mini Cooper.  After 8 minutes of pulling forward, backing up, pulling forward and backing up over and over, you had to move down to the larger spaces anyway.  Was it necessary to make everyone else wait because you can't do simple math?

Irritated,
MIHH


Dear Coco,

You're ridiculously cute, and we love you, but you CANNOT sit on my stomach.  Han Solo and I do NOT appreciate it.  I know you think you have to be as close to me as possible (what's with that,BTW?), but please, not the stomach.

Painfully,
MIHH



Dear electric wiring,

5 light bulbs blown in 2 days????  This is ridiculous.  I know you're old and faulty because our housing is ancient, but this is getting ridiculous.  I'm tired of buying light bulbs.  Not to mention cajoling James Bond into climbing the ladder to change said blown bulbs.  Ugh.  I'm really over this.

In the dark,
MIHH


Dear Army Housing,

You'll be getting a hefty bill from me for light bulbs.  We blow about 2-3 a month, so start padding your budget now.

Broke,
MIHH


Dear Oprah,

I'm not griping at you.  I actually want to thank you for your show highlighting military families and the struggles they face due to these 2 seemingly, never-ending wars.  You made me cry several times, but I think this was a really important show.  I wish everyone in America had seen it.

Weepily,
MIHH



Dear Readers,

Head on over to Kat's (hit the button at the top) to read more letters or write you own (you know you want to) and link up!

Smooches,
MIHH




 

Dear So and So: The New Year Edition

Oh, gosh, it's Friday already???  Hurrah!  The first Friday of 2011!  A whole new year to find new stuff to gripe talk about.



Dear New Year,

I have high hopes for you.  Don't let me down.

Expectantly (in more ways that one!),
MIHH



Dear Weather,

You suck!  I loved all the snow we had recently, but what's up with the rain?  All the snow is gone and in its place is muck and mud.  It's January, for goodness sake.  January means snow!  Bring back the snow!  Indy can play in the cold and snow.  He can't play in the cold and rain.  That means he sits inside and moans about the fact that he can't go out and play.  Not cool.

Bring back winter,
MIHH



Dear Christmas Tree,

You've only been gone a day and I miss you already.  I'm happy to have the house back to "normal" but your pretty lights ornaments were so lovely.  I can't wait to see you in 11 months.

Fondly,
MIHH



Dear Han Solo,

I know little brothers like to do things their big brothers do, so maybe you think that because Indy was born early, it's something you should try, but really, this is too early.  You need to cook a good deal longer, so if you could just take it easy, I'd appreciate it. You're stressing everyone out.

Willing to wait to meet you,
MIHH



Dear Everyone Else,

I appreciate your concern, but I'm not made of glass.  I CAN actually get up and do stuff.   It's all good.  If I need to sit down, I will.  I promise.

Appreciating your concern,
MIHH



Dear Brownies (the dessert, not the scouts),

I bless you and the person who invented you.  You are a culinary miracle of epic proportions.  There is nothing so bad that a brownie can't make better.  Headache?  Eat a brownie.  Tired?  Eat a brownie.  PMSing?  Eat a brownie (or 3).  Having contractions too early?  Eat a brownie.  Weather suck?  Eat a brownie.  Heartbroken?  Eat a brownie.  Pants don't fit?  Eat a brownie.  They don't fit anyway, why deny yourself?  There is almost nothing a good brownie can't fix. 

Chocolate faced,
MIHH


Ah, I feel better.  I suppose I should put down the brownie and get off the interwebs (wait, wait, let me stop laughing) and go work on stuff for James Bond'sb-day party tomorrow and Chiquitita's baby shower that I'm throwing in  weeks.  Sigh.  Maybe just one more brownie?  Couldn't hurt. Head over to Kat's to read the other Dear So and So's.

Dear So and So: the Monday, really irritated edition

Dear So and So is usually done of Friday, but I've missed the last few, and honestly, I really need it today, so bear with me.



Dear PFC Loudmouth:

Not every person in the food court is interested in your conversation. We don't care how drunk you got. We don't care how "off the chain" the bar was or how hot the "German chick" was. I certainly didn't want Indy hearing how "totally sweet" what a moron you are.  I was 8 tables away (yes, I counted) and could hear you as if you were sitting across from me. Take it down a notch or two.  Or ten.  Better yet, why dont' you just shut up?  Idiot. 

Annoyed,
MIHH


Dear Vehicle Registration Office:

That wait time of "approximately 25 minutes" you posted on my number slip was a joke.  JOKE.  We arrived at 10:55am and my number wasn't called until 12:10pm!  That's an hour and 15 minutes of wait time.   25 minutes my arse.  My total time at the counter was less than 10 minutes, yet cost me $45 to renew my registration.  I should have charged you for all the time I lost while sitting there.  Do you know how much school work we could have gotten done?  My time is valuable and you wasted a whole lot of it today.  You'll be getting my bill.

Annoyed and $45 poorer,
MIHH


Dear Lady in line at Taco Bell,

Do you really need to ask the cashier what is in every freaking item on the menu?  It's Taco Bell, not fine dining.  The basic ingredients are beans, cheese, meat and grease in various combinations.  Order your burrito and get out of the way.  Some of us are hungry and crabby and just want to get our portion of beans, cheese and grease (no meat for me) without having to listen to you hem and haw and debate over what you are going to order.  You stood in line for 10 minutes.  You couldn't have figured it out while waiting?

Annoyed and hungry,
MIHH

PS. Taco Bell, your lines are too long.  You'll be getting a bill for my time too.  Sheesh!


Dear Doctor's Office,

You are the worst!  You wasted more of my time today than the vehicle reg. and Taco Bell line put together.  I am very angry with you over this.  When I make an appointment, I expect to be seen within a reasonable amount of time of said appointment.  I'm not expecting you to be there on the dot (though I might note my German OB is incredibly punctual and once he even had to leave to deliver a baby and still managed to see me within 15 minutes of my scheduled appointment time), but within an hour would be nice.  If you can't see people within an hour of their appointment time, you need to look at how many bookings you have in a day.    I have better things to do than sit around in a waiting room with sick people who are hacking up a lunch and spewing germs all over me (I am not sick, just dealing with a medication/pregnancy issue, and don't appreciate the possibility that I might get sick from someone else).  It was like a germ bath in there and you made me sit and stew in it for AGES.  Ack.  If I get sick, I'm holding you responsible.

Very annoyed and in need of a Lysol bath,
MIHH


PS. Indy is coughing now.  If he gets sick, you are in serious trouble!


Dear Weather,

Make up your freaking mind already!  Is it going to be warm or cool?  This whole back and forth thing is really starting to wear on my nerves and I don't know how to dress from day to day.  And what's with the rain today?  My hair actually looked good before I went outside.  Thanks a lot.

Annoyed and drippy,
MIHH

Dear New (pregnancy safe) Happy Medication,

If you could start working right away, everyone would appreciate it.  Especially James Bond, Indy and all the people I have to come in contact with.

Annoyed and slightly irritable,
MIHH

Dear Readers,

Thanks for listening.  Even though it's not Friday, I really needed to get that off my chest.  I now return you to your regularly scheduled High Heeled goodness.

Lovingly (and not annoyed with you),
MIHH


Man, I feel much better!   Thanks Kat! 

Dear So and So: The idiot neighbors edition

Let me preface this by saying I'm not talking about any of my personal neighbors.  I actually happen to have a great stairwell and get along quite well with them all.  And none of them read my blog, so I don't have to say this, I'm just letting you, gentle reader, know.  These are things I've observed in other buildings around us when I take my dogs out at night.  We good?  Okay then.


Dear Idiot Neighbors #1,

I am so glad I don't live in your building.  Do you really think it's a good idea to put what I'm assuming were gym shoes in the dryer at midnight?  I was a good 150 feet from your building yet I could clearly hear the thump, thump, thump in the dryer.  If I lived in your building I would have gone down to the laundry room and turned the dryer off.  If you have to dry shoes in the dryer, do it during the day.

So glad I don't live in your building,
MIHH


Dear Idiot Neighbor #2,

Taking trash and recycling out at 1 am is not cool. Sure, sure, I know it needs to go out, but when you're tossing glass into the bin, it is LOUD. You do know that glass bin is right outside several buildings' bedroom window, right? Take your damn garbage out during the day. Plus, it scared Arf and I couldn't get him to do his business, which is a real problem for me.

So glad I don't live in your building,
MIHH


Dear Idiot neighbor #3,

Parking is an issue here. A real issue. If there is not an open visitor spot in front of your building it is NOT cool to park your car so that it blocks the assigned space of another apartment. If you had blocked my car, I would have called the MP's and have you ticketed. I know you may have to walk an extra 50 feet if you park your car down the block in one of the 7 (yes, I counted) visitor spaces there, but trust me, it's a lot cheaper than a ticket.

So glad I don't live in your building,
MIHH


Dear Idiot neighbors in general,

You guys are the reason stairwell living is so hard for many people. You do not live in a private home. You live in a building with 11 other families. Try to remember that and everyone's lives will be better.

Shaking my head at your idiocy,
MIHH


Dear Chinese web site people who keep hacking my comments,

I hate you. You're making me do the thing I do not want to do! I'm sorry my lovely readers, but for a while I'm going to have to turn back on the word verification on my comments. I know, I know! They are the WORST, but I'm afraid for now at least I'm going to have to do it.

So sorry,
MIHH

Dear So and So: The evening edition

Apparently I drank more than I thought at the wine tasting last week because I've been too fuzzy to blog.  Actually, that's a total lie. I've just been lazy.  Bad blogger!!!! I'm back in the saddle though and ready for some Dear So and So. You with me? Good.  It's evening here and I'm joining in late, but better late than never, right?

Dear birds,

I realize the days are getting longer and the sun comes up much earlier and stays up much later than it has for the past 6 months. This is reason to rejoice, I agree. However, must you sing outside my and Indy's windows at 5:30 am and still be there singing at 9pm? This is really annoying. It wakes Indy early (and he likes to sleep late, so this is a big deal) and causes him to call me every 10 minutes to complain after he's gone to bed. Could you cut me some slack here? Oh, sure, I know in the movies it looks all cutesy to have a bird wake you with singing and maybe this is where you got the idea (What? You could totally watch movies if you wanted), but let me assure you, it's ONLY in the movies that people want you singing outside their windows at 5:30am. Okay?

Tired,
MIHH


Dear Mr. HH,

While I'm sad that your flight was canceled and you probably won't be home before Sunday thanks to the crazy volcano ash cloud, please, for the love of all that is holy, don't try to make me feel bad for you. You have to stay in $200 a night, 4 star hotel (that the Army is paying for), with breakfast and maid service and have to eat out every day and get to tour around Warsaw until you can get a flight out. Boo-freaking-hoo. I'm at home with piles of laundry, Easter decor that needs to be lugged to the basement, 3 dogs who have to go out 4-5 times a day, cook for and feed the boy and clean the house (where is my maid service?), not to mention dealing with the stupid birds (see above letter). And you wonder why I get jealous when you go TDY. Gah!

Irritably,
MIHH


Dear Friends Husband,

You are "trapped" in Paris. Boo-hoo to you too.

Jealous,
MIHH



Dear JAG (the TV show),

I {heart} you big time. I can't imagine a more improbably military show, but really, I love you. Solid acting, good cinematography, good writing and good cast chemistry. I can forgive you your sometimes silly stories. I'm sad you're no longer on the air, but so happy the library has all your seasons on DVD. It also gives me great material to rag on Hoosier Mom's dh, who is an Army JAG lawyer, but never has to jet off to Italy to defend a pilot and convince the Italian gov't not to shut down all the US bases or single handedly save a ship from Cuban terrorists trying to kill Castro with Navy missiles. :) Just kidding Hoosier Dad. You're no Harmon Rabb, but Mr. HH and I think you're awesome.

Loyally,
MIHH


Dear Johnny Depp,

I'm so sorry for ignoring you for so long. I assure you, it was not intentional. Believe me, I think of you all the time. I know you think I've been lured away by the much younger Edward (though technically he's older than you), and I do admit to being "dazzled" by him (I totally crack myself up sometimes), and yes, I've strayed, but believe me, compared to you, his is nothing. Call me. Kisses.

Smooches,
MIHH


Dear Edward,

You've got to leave me alone. You're getting in the way of me and Johnny being together. I know, I know, Bella is getting old and nagging at you all the time (Edward, why do you smell like her? Edward, where have you been? Edward, please stop buying me things. Blah, blah, blah),and that I'm exactly your type (no pun intended),but really, it's just too intense.  I don't mean any of this. Call me. I'll find a way to make it work.

Yours,
MIHH



I always feel so happy after writing a Dear So and So.  You should try it.  Go hit the button and head over to Kat's to link up.
Have a great weekend everyone!

Dear So and So: Back on the interwebs

  Kat hosts Dear So and So every Friday.  It's where you get to write letters to those who have annoyed you during the week.  Oh sure, you could write positive letters, but who wants to read that?  Yawn.  Let's get started, shall we?


Dear TKS/T-Mobile/Devils who run the internet service in Germany,

FOUR days with no interwebs? Are you kidding me? You realize that's like making a junkie or an alcoholic go cold turkey, right? Seriously. Mr. HH and I were practically shaking in withdrawal. We constantly checked the connection, yelled at our computers, yelled at the modem, and paced the house, grumbling and talking to ourselves. I think I even blogged out loud, but that could have been a withdrawal hallucination. I can't be sure. Of course we won't get any kind of prorated bill for those 4 days, but what can you do? They control the connection. Bastards.

Thinking of joining a 12 step group,
MIHH (And Mr. HH)


Dear Dutch,

I have talked many times about how stupid slow you are. Every time I give you a bath, which I did yesterday (because I had no interwebs and what else was I going to do, clean?), I am reminded how not smart you are. Normal dogs, like the other 2 turn their heads down when the shower sprayer is being on their head. You, you silly dog, actually hold your head up toward the sprayer and snort water down your nose, practically drowning yourself in the shower. It's a good thing you're sweet, lovable and pretty, because you are not smart.  It's sad really, because you are an incredibly loving and pretty dog.  I suppose you can't have looks and brains.

Loving you and your dumb self,
MIHH (but you can call me Mommy, though you probably think of me as the lady who gives you food)


Dear New Blogger Editing Template,

I love some of your features (like the whole uploading photos and having them on the photo tray waiting for me to put you where I want you-GENIUS), but I'm having issues with you in the compose screen. Why is it when I hit "enter" my cursor doesn't move, but the lines below do? I want my cursor to reset. That's why I hit "enter." Yes, I can move it manually, but um, hello? Enter! It works fine in the Edit HTML screen, but not so much in Compose. This is very annoying. Please fix this.

Annoyed (and lazy),
MIHH


Dear Abs,
I know I've been working you out more than normally lately. I know it's not fun, but the constant pain every time I move in bed, pick something up, stand, sit, laugh is really getting old. I have to work you hard. If I don't, you'll get even flabbier and I can't have that. Just accept that you're going to get worked out. The stronger you get, the less you will hurt.

Painfully,
MIHH


Dear Library,

You rock my world and have saved me about a gazillion dollars in books.  However, the 37 emails a week reminding me that I have an overdue book is starting to get to me.  I know the books are overdue.  I'm still reading them and will return them when I'm done.  I can't check anything else out until I return what I already have, so it's not like I'm just going to keep checking books out and not return them.  You'll get them when I'm done.    I can't block you because you also let me know when a book I've requested is in (which I appreciate) but quit sending me overdue emails!

Overdue but knowing it,
MIHH



Dear Readers,

If you feel like joining in, hit the button and run over to Kat's to enter your link.

Sincerely,
MIHH

Dear So and So

Dear Mud,

I understand that you are a part of the ending of winter (thank heavens for that), but really, do you have to be everywhere??? OMG! Indy and I walked to the post office yesterday and when we got home our boots were caked, caked in you. Yes, I know, we didn't have to walk through the courtyard, but taking the sidewalk would have added at least 5 whole minutes to our walk each way, and in case you forgot, it's still bloody cold out there and who wants to be out there 10 minutes longer than they have to? Not me, I tell you. If it's going to be cold, could you just freeze up a little and not be quite so mushy? Maybe you can push all that water a little further down and dry out a bit? I'd appreciate it ever so much.

Messily,
MIHH


Dear AFN schedule,

The Olympics are on and there are lots and lots of events! What? You knew? Oh, so the decision to air only skeleton races and races and cross country skiing is on purpose? WHY? You know we're all really only interested in figure skating (though I find curling oddly fascinating), so do you think you could perhaps air some? I'd really appreciate it. It's not often I can indulge in hours of figure skating, and every 4 years I have 2 weeks to pretend that I could have been a contender if I'd only tried (or, you know, learned how to ice skate as a child, but whatever). Could you help me out here?

Skating in my dreams,
MIHH


Dear library,

Not having book 2 of a 5 book series in any of the European libraries sucks. Yes, I love the fact that I can request a book from any library and have it within a few days, but when I want to read a series and you lack one of the books, it really irks me. Seriously, how can you have books 1,3,4 and 5 but not book 2? HOW???? Now I have to order book 2 from Amazon (thank goodness for the used section) and then I'll be stuck with book 2. Unless I'm feeling incredibly gracious and donate book 2 to the library system to keep some other poor reader from running into the same problem.

Waiting impatiently to read,
MIHH


Dear Kat,

Thanks so much for making Friday one of the best days in blogland and for keeping me wildly entertained with stories of living in England. Smooches and pancake days!

Your fellow military spouse in a foreign land,
MIHH


Dear readers,

If you like Dear So and So and have something to get off your chest, join the fun and link up over at Kat's place. You won't be sorry.

Sincerely,
MIHH

Dear So and So

Friday already? Well, in the immortal words of Mr. Justin Timberlake, hot dayum!


Dear Winter,

I love you, I truly do. I think you're one of the prettiest times of the year and there is absolutely no sneezing involved (hurrah!). I love to watch snow fall and see how pretty everything is covered in a beautiful blanket of white. However, I'm afraid, dear Winter, that I'm over you. I've had enough. I don't look forward to the sneezing and sniffling that your sister, Spring will bring with her, but I'm heartily sick of scraping snow off my car and the mud and slush that come into my house.

Cold and Irritable,
MIHH


Dear Cold,

I thought you were gone. What are you doing trying to sneak back in? I gave you a good 3.5 days where you were allowed to run rampant, but that's enough. I won't have it I tell you, I won't! You are to vacate the premises (aka, my head) immediately. Are we clear on this?

Achingly,
MIHH


Dear Indy,

I cannot look up everything that pops in your crazy little head on the internet. Please stop asking.

Love and kisses,
Mommy


Dear Johnny Depp,

Indy and Mr. HH are watching Pirates 3 right now and I find myself wondering why I find you so incredibly attractive even when you're dirty and gross and grungy. You are one hot man.

Love you long time,
MIHH

Ps-Call me


And now dear readers, I'm off to France this evening and to the Metz flea market tomorrow. I'll have photos up in a few days and hopefully many treasures to show you.

For more Dear So and So's, go visit Kat.

Dear So and So

Dear House,

Are you in league with Kat's house? Cause, I've been cleaning and cleaning and still you're a mess. I'm tired of it.

Sadly,
MIHH


Dear Self,

Merely stacking the books to be returned to the library on the shelf by the front door does not equate to actually returning them to the library. It's great that you put them there, but you must remember to pick them up and carry them out to the car, drive to the library, take them out of the car and put them in the book return. It's not that hard. Take a lesson from Nike: Just do it! You're so lucky the library doesn't charge late fees.

Irritated,
MIHH


Dear Snow,

Again? Really? I love you, but even this is getting to be a bit much. I'm tired of having to wear only boots because I don't want to ruin my pretty shoes in your slush.

Cold,
MIHH


Dear Skin,

I know it's cold and dry out there. I know the weather sucks. I've been lathering you with lotion (really good lotion at that) for weeks. Could you please soak it up a little bit more? I'm tired of the itching. I'm tired of feeling like my skin is a size too small. Yes, yes, I know the hot showers I like to take are part of the problem, but I'm not giving those up. Make it work!

Itchily,
MIHH



Dear Jay Leno,

I don't blame you. This whole mess is not your fault (stupid NBC execs!) and I will support you as you move back to your original time slot.

Your fan,
MIHH


Dear JD Salinger,

Thank you for your genius writing. Catcher in the Rye was a brilliant book that touched me on many levels. I've read it several times since my first read when I was about 14 and each time I find something new. You will be missed.

RIP,
MIHH

Dear So and So

Dear Amazon.com,
You know I love you, right? Living in Europe, I'm pretty sure I've single-handedly kept you afloat with my purchases over the last 10 or so years (where's my loyalty discount?). You have an excellent selection of just about anything and are willing to ship it quickly. While I appreciate the variety, I think you've gone a bit too far. This ring, while gorgeous, and okay, something I'd personally love to own, is taking it a bit far don't you think? Who exactly are you targeting? I'm pretty sure that the average Amazon shopper is not going to drop $187,000.99 on a ring. I realize that compared to the list price of $338,800.00, you are offering a tremendous bargain, but really? Really? And how do you ship that? Surely you're not entrusting it to the USPS or UPS, are you?

Curious,
MIHH

P.S. I completely appreciate that you think I'm wealthy enough to recommend this to me, but I assure you I'm not. Maybe if you extend to me some sort of super purchaser discount? Say 99% off?



Dear Immune System,

You've done a pretty good job so far this season and I really appreciate it, I do, but if you could just kick it up a notch or two for a few days here, I'd really like that. I've been feeling a bit under the weather, and that's really putting us behind on our school schedule. We were supposed to go to Strasbourg today as part of our study of France and I had to cancel. Boo. I was really looking forward to a savory crepe from my favorite little place, Crep Mili. Could you help me out here?

Woozily,
MIHH


Dear house,

Really? After all the letters I've written to you? You still haven't gotten the message?

Disgusted,
MIHH


Dear Indy,

I love you kiddo. I really, really do, but good heavens can you drive me crazy. I know you want to take care of me since I'm not feeling well and that's really sweet of you, but coming up to me every 5 minutes to see if I need something/feel okay/still have a fever/etc. is just this side of too much. Could you take it down just a smidgen?

Love,
Mommy


Dear Pepper,

You'll be 14 tomorrow. 14! That's really old for a dog. We've known you since you were 6 weeks old and you've held our hearts ever since. I know that aging comes with its issues, but the farting and then getting up to get away from the smell while leaving me to flounder in the funk is not cool. Not cool at all. I still love you tons and tons, but I do NOT love the smell.

Trying to breathe,
Mommy


Dear lady at the optical shop,

You said my new reading glasses would be in last Saturday or last Tuesday at the latest. It is Friday. I still have no reading glasses. What's up?

Blurrily,
MIHH


Ah, I feel so much better. Got something you need to say or just get off your chest? Write your own Dear So and So's and link them up over at Kat's.

Dear So and So: I've got a lot to say

If you read my previous post, you know I'm feeling grumpy. The PERFECT time for a Dear So and So. Thank you Kat!


Dear stupid government,

It p!sses me off so much that because of red tape and bureaucracy that Indy can't collect for Haiti. Something so pure and simple shouldn't get bogged down in paperwork. I hate that I had to explain to Indy that sometimes the gov't can make things far more difficult than they have to be. Watching my little boy cry because he can't raise money for the people he sees in pain on TV was hard for me and made me hate my gov't just a little.

Disenfranchised,
MIHH


Dear lady in Aldi,

Look, I sympathize with you. Keeping a toddler happy while grocery shopping is difficult at best. However the solution is NOT to hand that screaming child a package of raw hamburger. I don't know, it's Germany, it might not have been hamburger, but still. Raw. Meat. Now I know that it is inside one of those weird German plastic packages that you practically need a degree and a tool set to open, but as you found out, kids are bloody geniuses at cracking open the impossible. Your toddler's hands covered in ground meat nearly sent me (and everyone within throwing range) over the edge. I know it's hard to shop when your little one is screaming, but seriously do not cave and hand over raw meat.

Disgusted,
MIHH



Dear teenage girls,

WHY do we have to keep going over this? It. Is. Cold. Put. Some. Damn. Clothes. On. I hope that wasn't too many words for you. Maybe thextese will be simpler: 411 Brrr. Clths On. U lk SSINF.

TAFN,
MIHH


Dear American Idol,

I have mixed feelings about your return. I'm kind of over you, but like a train wreck, I can't look away. I know it's for entertainment value, but all those deluded people you let into the room? Stop doing that. It's old. We ALL know they have to go through several auditions to get to that point. Don't give the people hope just so they can freak out when the judges tell them they can't sing. If you want to let Pants on the Ground guy Larry Platt (a civil rights hero) back on, I would watch him. Because he was awesome. And his song is amazing and incredibly relevant.

Still watching (and hating myself for it),
MIHH



Dear obnoxious Americans in the Spanish restaurant,

One of the things we noticed (including Indy) when we visited the States this past summer was how loud restaurants are. Seriously, it's deafening. In Europe (or at least Germany and France), people are quiet when they eat. That's not to say they don't talk, they're just quiet and respect the other diners. You did not. When we arrived at the restaurant at the unfashionably early hour of 7pm, it was deserted and we were okay with that. We ordered, chatted about Spain (we studied Spain this week and considered this a field trip-man I love homeschooling) and enjoyed our Tapas. Around 7:45 you arrived in all your loud American glory. A few other Europeans arrived within 15 or so minutes of you (we knew they were European because they were quiet and all about 12 feet tall-damn those strong genes). We actually felt sorry for them for having to sit near you. Yes, I know you were there to have a good time (there were 6 adults), and I'm okay with that, but take the volume down just a few notches. Everyone in the restaurant is not interested in what you have to say. Trust me. Also, to the mom (we heard one of the younger women call you that), you may sound like Paula Deen, but you talk like a salty old sailor. Holy cow. Mr. HH and I exchanged many a glance over your vocabulary during our paella. The word 'dick' or the sentence 'oh, he's such a dick' is not really polite dinner conversation. Especially if every diner in the entire restaurant can hear you.

Embarrassed for you and my fellow Americans,
MIHH



Wow, I feel so much better. Well not really. I'm so full of paella I could burst. Thanks for listening and don't forget to click the Hope for Haiti button up there ^^^^^

Dear So and So: How I've missed you

It's been too long! I've missed ranting and raving politely discussing my grievances with my good friends (you guys). Settle in. I've got stuff to say.

Dear Paris,

I love you. LOVE you. With rainbow sprinkles and pink puffy hearts. If you were a vampire, you'd be Edward Cullen. If you were the "Sexiest Man Alive" you'd totally be Johnny Depp. This is how much I love you. I love the weird people, the metro, the food, the shopping and the sites. What I do not love though, is driving through you. You have roads with no effing lanes. No lanes! What is up with that? People need lanes to know where to drive. And roundabouts! Oh, how I hate your roundabouts. Yes, I know they're insanely popular in Europe (why? I don't get the appeal), but a roundabout with 10 different roads coming off it AND no lanes? It's bloody insane. I don't know how there aren't mass casualties on a daily basis. Also, what's with the super tiny road signs on a building? Do you not realize they now make bigger signs that can actually go near the light so people know what road they're on? There is a reason I usually take the train.

White knuckled,
MIHH


Dear Bank,

Why is it that every freaking time we go away on a trip, you freeze my account when we get back to Heidelberg? If you're so concerned that someone might be using my card (you do know I live in Europe and travel as much as possible, right?), wouldn't it be more prudent to contact me (you have my cell number, use it) and ask? It's really annoying to go to the commissary and have my card denied, even though I know there's money in the account. I then have to call you on my cell (do you know how expensive it is for me to call the States from my cell?) and tell you that, yes, I still have my card, and would you please unlock it so I can buy food to feed Indy before he starves to death. What a PITA. And, in my opinion, if you're going to lock down my card because of all the charges in a foreign country (again, I live in Europe in case you forgot), it would seem to be more prudent to do so at the first sign of unusual activity instead of something so mundane as buying groceries.

Annoyed and apparently poor,
MIHH


Dear teenage girls,

It's 17 degrees and snowing outside. You do not need to look "sexy." Go inside and put some damn clothes on.

Shivering in my 5 layers,
MIHH



Dear snowplows,

You're loud. Please come back at a more reasonable hour. I'm trying to watch Glee.

Irritated (but singing awesome songs in my head),
MIHH


Dear Christmas gifts,

I love pretty packaging. I adore beautifully wrapped presents. I like for my gifts to be so pretty that they look almost too good to open. It seems shallow, but it just makes me happy to see the recipient ooh and ahh over the exterior. Tonight though, I do not feel like wrapping you. I look at you all and think how much work it is to make you so pretty. Sitting on the floor for half an hour just to get you covered, not even in the "pretty" state yet, does sound like fun. If you could just do me a favor and at least get the first layer on, I'd really appreciate it.

Tired,
MIHH

PS. I blame my mom for the overwhelming amount of gifts I have to wrap.

Dear Mr. HH,

I'm so proud of you for getting promoted today. You've worked hard and this is a sign of how good you are at...whatever it is you do. Try not to forget though, that I still, and always will outrank you.

Kisses,
MIHH (but you can call my by my real name)

Dear So and So: The germ-y eviction-y edition

Dear germs that are currently keeping me on the sofa,

I don't know if you're flu germs (though I did get the flu mist and shouldn't be bothered by you) or just some nasty little cold germs that jumped from Indy to me. I don't care. I don't like you, and I'd like you to leave. I realize my body is tempting (Mr. HH says so, thus making me believe it must be true, though he could have ulterior motives, who knows?). It's all warm and functioning and what not and I understand why you might want to invade (wow, this sounds so dirty), but you are really not welcome. Having a sore throat is so less than fun. And the whole freezing one minute and sweating like a big burly man the next? I am so not enjoying that. Please be aware that I will be dosing myself with medications, vitamin c, gargling with salt water as often as possible and sending serious signals to my white blood cells to track you down. This will cause you no end of distress. If you leave now though, we can avoid all of that unpleasantness. While I don't wish you on anyone else, you need to go find a new home. Consider this your eviction notice. You need to vacate the premises STASAP (sooner than as soon as possible). Got it?

Seriously (don't make me break out the good drugs),
MIHH

Dear So and So: The naked edition

Gotcha with the title didn't I? No, I'm not naked, so go look elsewhere pervs who search for dirty things and end up on my blog, but there are people that think it's cool to be naked/semi-naked, and they need to be addressed (and dressed). I'm willing to take this on.

Dear Teenage Girls,

In case you hadn't noticed, the weather has turned bloody, freaking cold brisk in the last few days. Those super short skirts and shorts you're wearing? Not appropriate. To be honest, they're not appropriate during the warm months either. They make you look skanky hobagish slutty cheap. Don't degrade yourselves like that. Believe me, the boys will still like you. While we're at it, hike up your pants/skirt/shorts. I have no desire to see the top of your thong when you bend over.

Oh so sincerely,
MIHH


Dear parents of teenage girls,

Really? You let your daughters walk out the house like that? REALLY? Get some parenting skills people. Teach your daughter better. No way would my dad have let me go to school in a skirt that barely covered my business. Never mind that I went to an all girl Catholic school and had to wear a uniform. He would never, ever, ever have let me out wearing some of the stuff I see kids wear to school. Not for a date, not for a weekend outing (you know, to the mall or movies, or wherever the boys were hanging out), not anywhere. If I'd tried, I'd probably still be locked in my room today, rocking out to my boom box with a cd player and having to idea what the internet is. So, put your parenting panties on, put your foot down and tell your girls to put on something more appropriate. They're going to school, not auditioning for Girls Gone Wild.

Irritated,
MIHH

Dear teenage boys,

While I'm glad you have sense enough to wear clothing to keep you warm, could you extend that sense to your feet? Walking to the food court hudled up in your letter jacket (kudos to you for earning your letter) and flip flops just looks silly. I don't like looking at your dirty, unkempt feet in the summer. I should not be subjected to their hairiness during the fall and winter too.

Icked out,
MIHH

Dear naked chicks in the locker room,

Yes, I know it's the locker room at the gym and you've been working out and you stink, blah, blah, blah. I get that, I really do. However, could you maybe just wrap a towel around you as you're walking to and from the shower? I do not want to see the tattoo of the road runner on your @ss or the tramp stamp that reads "Always Ready." I'm sure you're really glad you got that now that you're pushing 40. It's really hard for me to know where to look when you walk past me stark naked. My eyes go all loopy trying to look and not look at you at the same time. While we're at it, bending over or squatting down while naked is so not cool. If you could see how you look, you'd run screaming from locker room (hopefully not naked).

Eyes averted,
MIHH


Dear Kat,

Stop gallivanting around England and get back to your blog already. I enjoy your guest bloggers, but enough with the "Oh, sorry, I'm off exploring and seeing all manner of cool things are far too busy and hip to post." I'm paraphrasing, BTW. I miss the stories of preschool mum's and Elizabeast and I really, really want to see the new Bungalow. Could you get on that? Ok, thanks.

Missing your funny self,
MIHH


Dear Edward/RPattz,

Just over a month. I can't wait. You'll be shirtless. I'll be drooling.

Waiting,
MIHH

And so ends today's letters. Quick recap: teenage girls and women in the locker room: put some clothes on. Edward/RPattz: take it off. Love you, kisses, mean it.

Hooked on Dear So and So

This post is a two-for (pronounced TOO-fer, in case you didn't know)! Julia, over at Hooked on Houses is doing the last of a year long series called Hooked On, and while I've never participated, it would be a shame not to participate in the last one. So today, I'm hooked on "Dear So and So." For those knew readers who have popped over from HoH and don't know what that is, please allow me to explain. Dear So and So was thought up by the brilliant Kat of 3 Bedroom Bungalow to Let in Crazytown. It's where you write letters to all the people who've annoyed you recently. Okay, they don't have to be to people who annoy you, they can be letters to annoy you, it can be anyone, but let's be honest, it's more fun to write those. So, in that spirit, let's be off, shall we?


Dear worker bees who have been tearing out the asbestos in our attic,

While we did not love being woken up at 7am M-F to scraping sanding and pounding, we were especially NOT thrilled when you popped in at 7am, last Saturday. Oh, what a joyful bonus that was! Seriously? And now you haven't been around since, yet our upstairs maid's quarters (used as storage rooms now) are still blocked off. What gives? If you show up tomorrow at 7 am though, we're going to have a serious problem. Some butt kicking may be in order. Perhaps a good spiked heel to the tenders. I'm just letting you know.

Tired,
MIHH


Dear local Fire Dept. (and elementary school),

I understand this is fire safety week and that is is terribly important to teach children about what to do in case of a fire. I really, really, get that. However, what I do NOT get, is why you would choose to do so while blocking the ONLY exit to our housing complex. I know there are other roads, but you may recall that they are gated and barricaded off and thus cannot be used. There are plenty of other places your fire trucks could have been parked that would NOT have blocked the ONLY exit. I know you were in a prominent place, thus giving all the moms a chance to get a really good look at you all (hey, I'll admit, I likes the looks of a man in turnout gear), but for those of us who did not have time to stop and stare and actually had places to be (like the vet), you were really in the way. And made me a lot of people really mad. Waiting 25 minutes to get out of our housing complex does not make people feel generous when it's time for the fire dept annual fund raising campaign. Just a thought.

Late (as usual),
MIHH (and Pepper)


Dear Kennel Cough,

Pepper and I both think you suck. Please leave our house, PDQ and do not stop to see how the other two dogs might like you. They won't. Trust me here.

Irritated,
MIHH (and Pepper)


Dear Indy,

LEARN. TO. READ.

Love you,

Mommy


Dear RPatzz/Edward,

Every day there seems to be knew photos of you floating around and we get closer and closer to the release of New Moon. This makes me so happy, I want to SPARKLE.

Me love you long time,

MIHH (Cullen)

Dear So and So: I'm back baby!

I haven't been able to do a Dear So and So for a while, but this week, like the title says, I'm back baby!!!!



Dear Mama Mia (the movie),

I heart you so much! Apparently the Germans love you too because this is the 5th month out of the last 11 that you've been a featured movie on the movie channel. It's in English!!!! Fortunately (for me) Mr. HH and Indy both love it too and will watch it any time it's on. I always wonder why there isn't a soundtrack for my life. How awesome would that be?

The Dancing Queen (young and sweet),
MIHH



Dear Heel Spur,

I hate you. A lot.

Painfully,
MIHH



Dear worker bees removing the asbestos from our attic area,

OMG! 7 am? Are you kidding me? Do you KNOW how loud you are? I know you're just doing your jobs, and that's cool, but 7am until 4pm M-F? Really? Really? I feel like I'm going crazy. Indy can't concentrate on school work and I'm seriously thinking of Irishing up my tea in the mornings.

Head poundingly,
MIHH


Dear fresh baked chocolate chip cookies,

QUIT. LOOKING. AT. ME. LIKE. THAT. Yes, you're ooey, gooey delicious, but I cannot eat all of you, no matter how much I'd like to. The dollar to euro rate blows right now and I can't afford (nor do I want to) buy bigger pants, so please, cut me some slack.

Hungrily,
MIHH


Dear Exchange Rate,

You are seriously sucking right now. When the Euro first came out in 2002 the exchange rate was about $1.60 to 1 Euro and now it's $0.65 to 1 Euro. WHAT???? Do you know how much that makes stuff at IKEA? Come on!

Poor,
MIHH



Dear blogger,

Why can you not make the Euro symbol? Or accept it from MS Word? That's really annoying. I hate typing out Euro all the time. It would be so much easier to make the curved capital E looking thing.

Still poor and now annoyed,
MIHH


Dear house,

How many times do we need to have the discussion about cleaning yourself up?

Disgusted,
MIHH


Dear Edward,

You're mine. Don't be swayed by any of those other bloggers. Especially Cammie. I'm the one. Me.

Obsessively,
MIHH


Dear Johnny Depp,

Same goes for you. I'm willing to cut you a bit of slack because you have kids with what's-her-name, but I'm your true love. Remember that, okay? And yes, I can in fact juggle both you and Edward. Oh and Mr. HH too.

Loving you,
MIHH


Dear Meryl Streep,

You have gorgeous hair. I kind of hate you for that.

Enviously,
MIHH


Okay, I guess I'm done. Head over to Kat's to read the other Dear So and So's. You won't be sorry.