The journey of a thousand miles begins with...the perfect pair of shoes.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Dear So and So: It's been a long time

Dear So and So...

I can't believe how long it's been since I did a Dear So and So! Bad, bad me!
If you're not familiar with it, Dear So and So is run by Kat over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow and gives you the opportunity to write letters to anyone who had, um, annoyed you. You should try it, you'll feel better. Oh, you can write nice letters, but they're not nearly as much fun.

Dear Guy in the car in front of me at the PX gate,

Look, we've had to show our ID cards to get onto the various posts since 2001. TWO THOUSAND ONE. That's 10 years now. TEN. YEARS. You should know by now you need to have your ID card out of your wallet and ready to give to the guard. It should not take you 5 bloody minutes to unbuckle your seat belt, get out your wallet, and then fish through it for your ID card. You are obviously American and even if you are new to the area, you are driving a car, which means you've had to take the test, which means you have been on post before. Probably multiple times. Have your damn ID card ready. I've got things to do and a kid to get to summer camp. I don't have time for your stupidity.


Dear Lady in line in front of me at the commissary,

Please refer to the letter above re: having your ID ready.  You know you have to show it before check out.  Don't act like it's the first time you've ever been in the commissary.  I've seen you there before.


Dear Mother Nature,

What is going on with you? Two weeks ago Indy and I were freezing our bums off in Paris, then it was in the upper 90's and now we're back in the 60's? Could you just pick something and stick with it? Please? Also, if you're going to pick something, I'd suggest picking on the cool side. I am ridiculously pale and frighten small children when I wear shorts.

Constantly changing my wardrobe because you can't make up your mind,

Dear manufacturers of baby bibs,

You know that hard part of Velcro?  Yeah, that should go on the part of the bib that faces down, not up.  Poor Han Solo has scratched on his sweet little neck where he moves around and the Velcro slips, and it scratches him.

Angry mom,

Dear Canada,

I'm insanely jealous of you.  You get Prince William and Catherine for over a week, and many of you are bilingual.  Happy Canada Day!  Eh?

Your friend from below the boarder,
Dear Jose Baez,

You make me want to take a Purell bath.  I wouldn't let you notarize a piece of paper for me.

Skeeved by you,

Dear Casey Anthony,

You know you did it.

Not respectfully,

Dear Judge Perry,

You don't put up with any shenanigans from either side.  I ♥ you.  I adore your slow, no nonsense speech and your long suffering looks.

Hoping you get your own show,

Whew, I feel better!  Click the button at the top to read the others and have a great weekend!


Kat said...

There is this corner near the entrance of the base here, and every time I reach it I get out my ID and ask for everyone in the cars ID. I always say "you have your ID?" as I ask for it. When my brother came to visit, he was like "Dammit yes I have my ID" after the 50th time I had asked him for it there. And then I had to explain I knew he HAD his ID, but I WANTED it so that we could get through the gate smoothly.

Sandy said...

You tell 'em, sistah.

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