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The journey of a thousand miles begins with...the perfect pair of shoes.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Dear So and So: How I've missed you

Dear So and So...

It's been too long! I've missed ranting and raving politely discussing my grievances with my good friends (you guys). Settle in. I've got stuff to say.

Dear Paris,

I love you. LOVE you. With rainbow sprinkles and pink puffy hearts. If you were a vampire, you'd be Edward Cullen. If you were the "Sexiest Man Alive" you'd totally be Johnny Depp. This is how much I love you. I love the weird people, the metro, the food, the shopping and the sites. What I do not love though, is driving through you. You have roads with no effing lanes. No lanes! What is up with that? People need lanes to know where to drive. And roundabouts! Oh, how I hate your roundabouts. Yes, I know they're insanely popular in Europe (why? I don't get the appeal), but a roundabout with 10 different roads coming off it AND no lanes? It's bloody insane. I don't know how there aren't mass casualties on a daily basis. Also, what's with the super tiny road signs on a building? Do you not realize they now make bigger signs that can actually go near the light so people know what road they're on? There is a reason I usually take the train.

White knuckled,
MIHH


Dear Bank,

Why is it that every freaking time we go away on a trip, you freeze my account when we get back to Heidelberg? If you're so concerned that someone might be using my card (you do know I live in Europe and travel as much as possible, right?), wouldn't it be more prudent to contact me (you have my cell number, use it) and ask? It's really annoying to go to the commissary and have my card denied, even though I know there's money in the account. I then have to call you on my cell (do you know how expensive it is for me to call the States from my cell?) and tell you that, yes, I still have my card, and would you please unlock it so I can buy food to feed Indy before he starves to death. What a PITA. And, in my opinion, if you're going to lock down my card because of all the charges in a foreign country (again, I live in Europe in case you forgot), it would seem to be more prudent to do so at the first sign of unusual activity instead of something so mundane as buying groceries.

Annoyed and apparently poor,
MIHH


Dear teenage girls,

It's 17 degrees and snowing outside. You do not need to look "sexy." Go inside and put some damn clothes on.

Shivering in my 5 layers,
MIHH



Dear snowplows,

You're loud. Please come back at a more reasonable hour. I'm trying to watch Glee.

Irritated (but singing awesome songs in my head),
MIHH


Dear Christmas gifts,

I love pretty packaging. I adore beautifully wrapped presents. I like for my gifts to be so pretty that they look almost too good to open. It seems shallow, but it just makes me happy to see the recipient ooh and ahh over the exterior. Tonight though, I do not feel like wrapping you. I look at you all and think how much work it is to make you so pretty. Sitting on the floor for half an hour just to get you covered, not even in the "pretty" state yet, does sound like fun. If you could just do me a favor and at least get the first layer on, I'd really appreciate it.

Tired,
MIHH

PS. I blame my mom for the overwhelming amount of gifts I have to wrap.

Dear Mr. HH,

I'm so proud of you for getting promoted today. You've worked hard and this is a sign of how good you are at...whatever it is you do. Try not to forget though, that I still, and always will outrank you.

Kisses,
MIHH (but you can call my by my real name)






9 comments:

Shell said...

What a pain to have your card frozen all the time!

Congrats to your husband!

Emily said...

Ha! I remember one New Year's Eve at a bar with some friends and walking to another bar wearing many many layers and walking through the snow to pass a girl wearing a backless shirt, a mini skirt, and sandals!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Awesome post!!! Paris is one of my top fave places...those roundabouts are skeeeeery! ;)

I have a closetful of gifts to wrap too...but hubs decided THIS weekend of all weekends we need to get caught up on the mountain of laundry and ironing. Great.

otin said...

That is great about Mr. HH getting promoted!

Dear MIHH,

Merry Christmas!

satakieli said...

Congrats to Mr HH!

That Paris roundabout is insane (yes I totally know which one you're talking about!)

It's been a few years since I was in Paris, it is a beautiful city.

And don't even talk to me about wrapping gifts. I've barely started, did get Mikey to "decorate" some paper for it though.

Jenny said...

When I was in Paris last year, I photographed the roads with 10 lanes of traffic and no lanes just to prove to people back home that I wasn't making it up, because really, it does sound like it can't possibly work. And I don't know how it does!

How obnoxious about your card. I've been (surprisingly) lucky so far that on the few occasions I use my US CC here they've let it go through. I did learn though, that if you call collect you get really really fast service!

Congrats to hubby on the promotion!

Alix said...

Stellar Dear So And So's! LOVE them.

"Dear teenage girls" was the best. And sorry about your bank card shutdown. That happened to me too. At the gas pump. The keypad was sticky and didn't work, so when I aborted the sale and started over the bank chose to read that as fraud and locked me down. Unfortunately for me, I was in shopping high gear and when the bank caught up with me I was making a purchase with a long line behind me. "I'm sorry ma'am... but your card has been rejected." No greater humiliation on earth. You can swear you've got funds, but everyone just politely nods at you with their "I'm sure" expressions. Not funny. Not even a little.

♥ Casa Hice

Working Mommy said...

LOL!!! I love the teenage girl note...HOW TRUE!!! Damn girls think going out everywhere is a friggin fashion show - even in -100 degree weather!!

~WM

sandieinitaly said...

LMAO at your Dear Paris. You pretty much described driving in Italy to a "T"! Except we have lanes, but nobody uses them. My favorite are the streets that are barely wide enough for ONE car to do down that have a line painted down the middle...YEAH RIGHT!

Congrats to your husband! Have you figured out what you're going to spend his payraise on yet? ;-)

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