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The journey of a thousand miles begins with...the perfect pair of shoes.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Dear So and So Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith

Man, what am I going to do when I run out of numbered titles from movies?

Dear So and So...


Dear plants/garden/flower beds,

Why do you need so much attention? Isn't it enough that I planted you? Do you really need to be watered too? AND pruned AND weeded? Why are you so needy? Can't you just grow? I mean really, plants have been doing it for millions of years without any human tending them. Take a leaf (get it?) from their book and just grow already.

Black thumbed and tired,
MIHH


Dear Mr. Linky,

Why don't you work right? It's so much more difficult to navigate through comments and find people's links than to just click on your super cool link thingy. Blogging people don't like change. We just want to click and go. Get your act together Mr. Linky or someone (clearly not me) may have to invent a Mr. Better Linky.

Frustrated,
MIHH


Dear House,

Clean yourself up! It's disgusting in here and I'm tired of looking at it. How did you let yourself get this way. Have some pride. Get your act together.

Disgusted,
MIHH


Dear Laundry,

Please see the above letter to House. You're part of the problem. Please do something with yourself. Preferably clean, dry and fold yourself. I'm running out of clothes.

Wearing my jeans again,
MIHH


Dear Dishes,

Please see above letters to House and Laundry. The dishwasher is right there! For Pete's sake, just hop on over, would you?

Going to have to resort to planet destroying paper plates,
MIHH



Dear Teen Girls in super short shorts,

I know you think it's sexy, but really, if you could see yourself from behind, you'd run screaming for something slightly longer. Even if you're super skinny (and not a lot of you are), I have no desire to see your ass cheeks hanging out the bottom of your shorts.

Grossed out,
MIHH


Dear Teen Girls who are trying really hard to look like KStew in Twilight,

It's not really working. You just look dirty and unkempt. She has stylists who make her look like that. Brush your hair and quit looking so angry at the world. What have you got to be angry about? I was a teen girl once and I can't think of a single thing that was so horrible I had to walk around with a constant sneer on my face. Wait until you join the real world. Plus, if you're trying to attract a guy like Edward/RPattz, I'm fairly certain he'd go for a girl who actually showers. And probably one who wears gorgeous high heels. I'm just saying. ( RPattz, call me).

Annoyed,
MIHH


Dear Weather,

You still suck.

Humidly,
MIHH


Dear Target,

I know it's only been 3 days since I last walked your clean, neatly organized aisles (yes, we stopped at Target on the way to the airport so I could get one more fix), but I miss you already.

Longingly,
MIHH


Dear You (you know who you are),

You have disappointed me.

Sadly,
MIHH

Dear Facebook,

Please stop suggesting weird people for me to be friends with. It scares me and makes me wonder who you're suggesting me to. Not that I'm weird (obviously), but still, I don't want my photo shown to random people who you think might like me.
You're also a time sucker, but I love that you let me keep in touch with my friends.

Facebook junkie,
MIHH (not my facebook name)


Dear Johnny Depp,

I know we have something special, but you've got to give me some space. M is getting suspicious. I'll call you when I can.

Delusionally,
MIHH

Dear America,

Happy Birthday a day early. I may gripe and moan about you (it is my right as an American after all) and I may live in another country, but I wouldn't like to be from any other country in the world. You're awesome.

Patriotically,
MIHH


9 comments:

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

My fave was the letter to the teen girls!!! :)

Thank YOU for the list of books you left in your comments. I read pretty fast too, but I have to wait until after the girls go to bed at night. Grr...

I've read all the "Size 12" books too!! Try "Queen of Babble." Also by Meg Cabot. I'm gonna review that one too! :) It's great!!!

I think we have similar tastes. :)

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I love your Dear So and So days! I agree with you on the teen girls and their ohhh soooo short shorts. I mean really no one wants to see that!

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I love your Dear So and So days! I agree with you on the teen girls and their ohhh soooo short shorts. I mean really no one wants to see that!

lizspin said...

I love your letters to household items. . . why don't they just listen????

Susie Q said...

Can you please send a lecture to my home? Particularly regarding the dog hair?

Thank you.

Lisa said...

I could have written almost all of these. Especiall the letters to house, laundry, and dishes. Oh, and the garden. Yeah. WHAT'S up with the weeding. I just pulled you up! DUDE!

Cammie said...

im going to need you to step off of BOTH of my boyfriends....Im all about sharing but jeez do you have to take BOTH??

Mrs Cammie Cullen-Depp

a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

i.seriously.agree.with.everything!

great post!

Valerie said...

House, laundry, dishes, teens in shorts loved them! And the Mr. Linky thingy there is a new better one. MckLinky!

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