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The journey of a thousand miles begins with...the perfect pair of shoes.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Mailing stuff: an experiment in insanity

So, we had way too much stuff to bring back to Germany after our month of adventures in the US and had to ship some of it. Are you shocked? Yeah, me neither. Most of the stuff was for Indy's big b-day party, coming up at the end of this month. I did have other stuff, but mostly it was for the party. My suitcases were packed to the brim and I had no room for 3 pairs of shoes. WHAT? Oh noes!!!! I decided to pack them in the boxes to be shipped and insure them out the wazoo. It cost me $95 to ship and insure 2 boxes. The guy at the counter looked at the price I had written on the customs form for my shoes and asked if I was sure about the amount. I looked at him and asked if I looked like a girl who wore cheap shoes. He carried on without further comment. Men.

One of the things I shipped was an apothecary jar. Yes, yes, I know it's insane and the odds are ridiculously low that it will arrive in one piece, but we can always hope. Here's the process I went through to pack it.

First, I filled it with a ton of those biodegradable noodles made from cornstarch. Why? Well, because I had to ship them too, so why not? Besides, don't they look pretty? Then I wrap, wrap, wrapped it with clear packing tape. This will give it a bit of strength (seems logical, right?) and if it does break, the tape will keep all the little pieces from getting everywhere. You're following all this aren't you?



I also did the top. While I was wrapping it with tape, I told Johnny Depp that while I adore him nibbling on my ears and kissing the back of my neck, it's very distracting and I wanted to make sure I get every square inch. I told him I'd be done in a moment give him my full attention then. Hey, I think this apothecary jar will arrive in one piece, so why not go full on fantasy and throw in Johnny Depp?


After I taped it all up, I wrapped it in paper and then roll it up in the fabric I bought to make Indiana Jones style goodie bags and leather bound journals for Indy's b-day party.


I then stuffed both bundles into their own TJMaxx "IT" bag that I got for free when I shopped there. I was planning on leaving them with my mom, but then decided to bring them back to Germany and carry them everywhere in the hopes that it will pique the German's curiosity and they will lobby their government to bring TJMaxx to the motherland. Johnny agrees that this is totally reasonable. The German government probably has nothing better to do anyway. Oh, Johnny! You're so funny.


I placed both bags in a huge box filled with bones, skulls, spiders, snakes (fake of course), scary masks and other such insanity. Aren't you dying to see how this party plays out? Yeah, me too. Johnny says it's going to be awesome, but wonders why we aren't doing a Pirates of the Carribean party. I told him we've done 2 pirate parties already, including a cake that he, as Cpt. Jack Sparrow, featured prominently on and unless he's willing to make a personal appearance, Indy wants to go with IJ this year. He said he understood and wanted to know when I would be done with all this silly packing and come cuddle on the sofa.


I closed the box, taped it well and took it to the post office. I'll let you know what happens when the box gets here. In the mean time, I've got to keep Johnny busy.

11 comments:

Crazy Shenanigans said...

Hahaahah loved that Johnny could help out!

One it makes it there in 1 piece!

Sandy said...

I have faith....right....can't wait to see what it looks like upon arrival.

WonderousWomanRetreat said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Brittany said...

HAHA That is great!!! I wish the jar all the best of luck and don't hog Johnny to long he is due at my house! I amazingly had some very breakable stuff make it to Germany without incident and then I had a shatterproof windshield for my husbands motorcycle get crushed so it really is a tossup! Hope it makes it tho!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Hope it makes it to Germany!! :)

SHRADDHA said...

Hi from SITS

YOU ARE TOO FUNNY...

WeaselMomma said...

Amusing and cute blog you have here. Good luck receiving it all in one piece.

sbux said...

Hi,
I just stumbled over this blog and got caught.
You write really entertaining and I love to read about other nations views on Germany, especially Americans since I lived in the States for 2 years myself.
Well anyways, I just wanted to let you know that there actually IS TJ Maxx in Germany, they only call it TK Maxx here. :)
Look here: http://www.tkmaxx.de/ .

kind regards from the northern part of Gemany,
Thea

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