Dear So and So 5: The Final Frontier

Ah, cathartic Friday. How I love you. BTW, does anyone get the movie reference in the title? If you do, you're a little slice of awesome. And a nerd, but that's okay.




Dear Teenage Girls,

I see London.
I see France.

Tired of seeing your underpants,
MIHH


Dear US Army,

A 50 million dollar, 5 year study on why suicide rates among the ranks has risen drastically since 9/11? REALLY? Are you kidding? I have a few theories on this and would be more than happy to give them to you for a mere 1 million. Think of the savings!

Frugally,
MIHH


Dear Angelina Joile,

I accidentally caught your movie A Mighty Heart on the movie channel the other night. I actually thought you gave a great performance and am surprised that while you were nominated for many awards you didn't win any. I'm angry at you for making me say something nice about you. Your performance when Mariane learned of Daniel's death was heart wrenching. I'm giving you props on this, but that doesn't mean I like you. Oh no. I still think you're a home wrecking whacko (I have not forgotten about the Billy Bob Thornton days, missy), but you were great in this movie.

Grudgingly,
MIHH


Dear women (myself included),

Why is it that when a woman has an affair with a married man and breaks up him and his wife we blame only her? Brad could have said no, yet he did not, but has there been any anger directed at him? Not that I have seen. I include myself in this because I should be angry at him more so than her, but I find that I'm not. Isn't that odd? I am now resolved to be incredibly angry at Brad Pitt. He was married at the time, AJ was not. Really, he was just as, if not more so, at fault than she is. Damn. I like him too.

Resolving to be angry,
MIHH



Dear Brad Pitt,

You are officially on my list.

Giving you the evil eye,
MIHH



Dear furbabies (all 3 of you),

Why is it that you can lay perfectly still for hours on end (HOURS!) and yet the moment it's time for me to go to bed, suddenly every part of your body must be scratched? Or your feet licked? Or your face (which is quite possibly the most disgusting sound ever)? This is really annoying and I am over it. If you can be still for 22.5 hours a day, please, try to coordinate those hours around my sleep schedule.

Tired,
MIHH (but you can call my Mommy)


Dear ebay stalkers who outbid me at the last second,

Knock it off! You're getting on my last nerve and making me crazy.

Irritated,
MIHH



Dear Pope NOT!John-Paul II,

I'm sorry I can't remember your name, but JP was Pope as long as I can remember and he's still the one I think of when I think Pope. Forgive me. That's your job, right? Anyhoodle, I'm insanely jealous that you are vacationing in the Italian Alps. Where is my chalet, in the Alps I ask? I'm sorry you fractured your wrist. I hope it wasn't your blessing arm.

Blasphemously,
MIHH


Dear Guy who proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen in his underwear,

I pink puffy {heart} you. And your unbelievable array of underwear. The amount of effort you put into this proposal is mind boggling. Now cut your hair, cause it's not working. Oh, and congratulations.

{Heartly},
MIHH


Dear Glenn Beck,

You. Are. Insane. I love it.

Amused,
MIHH


Dear Tour de France,

21 Stages? That's just a bit excessive isn't it? I know this is France's big hurrah (aside from a World Cup Win a few years ago), but holy moly! This is going on way to long. Would you guys just give Lance the cup (or trophy or whatever it is) and be done with it? You know he's going to win and I'm getting tired of looking at bicycling every time I flip past Eurosport. It is not exciting to watch.

Meh,
MIHH


Dear NL,

You haven't won the All-Star Game in what, 7 years now? WHAT UP? Get yourselves together.

Annoyed,
MIHH



Ahhhh, I feel better. Run on over to Kat's, grab a button and let it out.