The journey of a thousand miles begins with...the perfect pair of shoes.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Dear So and So 2:Electic Boogaloo

Dear So and So...

I have been looking forward to this day all week and now I can't remember a single gripe I had. Drat. Let me think. Oh, yeah, I've got plenty just from yesterday and this morning! Here we go!

Dear TV/Radio Stations, Newspapers, Media-in-general,

Yes, it is very sad that Michael Jackson passed away. He was a great artist. He sold a gazillion records (maybe I should call them albums since they're not really records anymore?). He had a wacky, weird life. However, my world will NOT change and I don't need to watch/hear/read 24 hour coverage of how sad the "real" fans are. Could we please find something else to talk about? Like, oh, I don't know, maybe North Korea? Soldiers dying in Iraq and Afghanistan? Iran? I'm just sayin.


Dear John Mayer,

A major strand of our cultural DNA has left us? Ugh. You are a tool. I'm glad you and Jen are no longer.


Dear hangers-on, former celebs, and wanna-be's,

Please crawl back to the underbelly from whence you came. Michael Jackson's death is not your opportunity to be on TV/radio expounding on how much you loved him/how well you knew him even though you hadn't talked in X number of year/how close you were to the family. You are tools as well. Go away.

Seriously annoyed,

Dear Farrah Fawcett,

I feel bad that your passing has been eclipsed and you are not getting the kind of attention you would have had MJ not passed on the same day.


Dear Weather,

You suck.


Dear Peanut Butter commercials,

Please stop making me feel bad because I don't have those "special" moments over a PB&J sandwich. I realize that PB&J is a huge part of the average kid's diet (though Indy hates Jelly), but it is possible to bond over something other than food. Also, you're still advocating white bread? Really? Have you looked at the average overweight child lately?

Peanut Butter hater,

Dear body/brain,

You KNOW that sinfully delicious 10 layer dark chocolate cake with raspberry coulis is not good for you. KNOW IT. Please stop craving it. It will go straight to the hips/ass area and no one wants that. I don't care how good it is, it's not worth the 800 hours on treadmill it will take to work it off (along will all the chocolate cake that currently resides there). I cut my hair off because it was annoying me and not behaving. Take that as a lesson.


Dear Rhode Island,

You're seriously thinking of changing your name? Do your politicians have nothing better to do with their time than work on pushing through a bill that that is undoubtedly using up thousands of tax payer dollars and no one really cares about? Just because your full name has the word "plantations" in it (did you know that reader? It is officially the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations) does not mean it evokes thoughts of slavery. Good grief. Learn your own freaking history.

Eye-rollingly yours,

Dear Kat,

Thank you so much for starting this. It's very cathartic. I am insanely jealous though that you're too busy roaming the English country side to participate.


Ahhhhhh, I feel much better! Don't you? Hop on over to 3 Bedroom Bungalow and read all the letters.


Cammie said...

wow, it IS time for this isnt it? Excellent notes!!!

Jess said...

LOL! I have already heard three Michael songs on the radio this morning...doesn't look like it is going to get any better...guess I better brush up on my moonwalk.

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I too feel bad that Farrah got overshadowed by MJ's death. I bet Ryan O'Neal is PISSED about that.

Michele said...

I too have heard enough about the Michael Jackson death. It is sad but so is anyones death.

And most commercial peanut butter is full of sugar and preservatives. You really can't bond over that now can you?

Great letters.
Thanks for visiting my blog.

Random Musings Of My Life said...

It going to be MONTHS before this is all over

Sandy said...

Let me speak for what I am certain is the majority of RHODE ISLANDERS: I DO NOT want to change the name of our state!! The politicans are pandering to a group of people who apparently have nothing better to do. And YES they are wasting time and money on this non-issue. The plan, however badly though out, is to put this to a VOTE in a general election. Since I am thinking that the majority of the people who think this is a worthwhile idea either cannot or do not vote, I'm hoping it will be soundly beaten down and will GO AWAY forever!

Brittany said...

I love the letters! Kat would be proud!!!

The PB&J one had me rolling!

Brittany said...

Yes I found it and I think I am going to have to join in! Thanks so much, so happy I stumbled over your blog!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Loved the letters today!!!

Mr. and Mrs. Top Gun said...

Ok. You and I are meant to be friends. Mrs. Top Gun is NEVER without her high heels! Seriously, I clean my house in them!! Mr. Top Gun thinks I am nuts, but I don't know any other shoes!!!

Please visit my little ol' blog- I think you'll like it!!!

Cheers, and high heels!

Bear Bunch said...

I am so with you on the Michael Jackson coverage! It is very sad but the sun will still come up.

Love the Peanut Butter letter. Thanks for the laugh!

Jenn said...

Stopping by from SITS to say hi. Your letters were really funny. I'm totally with you on the Michael Jackson thing. Enough already! Have a great weekend!

thatgirlblogs said...

well said. esp. the michael jackson letters.

visiting from SITS

Bentley Boutique said...

Dropping by from SITS. Amen on the Michael Jackson stuff. Enough already! Yes, it's sad when someone dies. But you can't expect to live the way he did (drugs, anorexia, a million plastic surgeries, etc) and live to be a happy old man. I'm not watching the news any more until this passes.

Isabel Princes said...

HIlarious!!!! I couldn't agree more about John Mayer. I hate his voice, his lyrics, everything about him. He is a TOOL. Thank you.
Visiting from SITS

Heather said...

Great blog! I came over from sits.. VERY Entertaining cause i Feel the same way about MJ.. did folks forget about the TRIALS!?

The little things said...

~visiting from sits

Loved it.... thanks for the giggle!!

Mandy said...

just stumbled upon you blog and I could not agree more!! And the fact that the House of Representatives took a moment of silence is just disgusting. Do they do that any time someone dies in the military?!?!?

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