Brunch, a confession

"It's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end. You don't get completely what you get at breakfast, but you get a good meal.”  -“Jacques, the bowler” The Simpsons

Do you brunch?  I love brunch.  Love.  With rainbow hearts and unicorn kisses, I love brunch.  It’s a meal that is relaxed and fun.  Just saying the word evokes images of friends getting together and having a great time around a lovely meal.  Plus, it’s the only time you can have a drink before 5 pm and no one thinks twice.  Well, Europeans often drink wine with lunch, but you know what I mean.  If I had a mimosa with breakfast, I’d probably be labeled an alcoholic.   If I didn’t have one with brunch, people would ask what was wrong.  How can you not love that?

We had an Easter brunch last weekend with our friends and it was just wonderful.  We met up at one apartment and everybody brought something.  Brunch was at 10:30 and we had salmon quiche (OMG, so good!), Belgian waffles, croissants, biscuits, brotchen (a small roll with a soft center and hard crust), jellies, cheese spreads, bacon, sausage (for the meat eaters), sweet rolls,  yoghurt, cakes, tea, coffee, juices and of course some alcohol.  One neighbor had planned on bringing Bloody Mary’s but ran out of time to get to the store, so we had only Mimosas.  Or, as I like to call them Mmmmmmmmimosas. 

Brunch is an incredibly civilized meal.  Breakfast is usually a greasy affair and lunch is often a quick bite on the go.  Unless of course you are a lady who lunches, and I sadly, am not.  Brunch means sitting for hours around a table, laughing and talking with friends, eating at your leisure and being relaxed.  Ah, brunch, how I love you.  Except.  Ah, there’s always something isn’t there?  And here is my confession.  I have to eat earlier than that.  Seriously.  I usually have to eat within 30 minutes of getting out of bed or I’m a complete and utter psycho grump the rest of the day.  There’s just something about having food on my stomach early in the day that starts me off right.  It is the most important meal of the day, you know.  Even if I eat later, I’m still a grump unless I eat early on.  And no, a slight nibble won’t do.  I must have at least a full bowl of cereal (organic honey o’s) with fruit and a cup of tea.    Even if I know I’m having brunch later on, I must eat.  Even the thought of Mmmmmmmimosas doesn’t keep the psycho grump at bay.    I wonder why this is.  Have I just trained myself to need food early in the day?  Well, if I have, it’s bloody inconvenient, I can tell you that. 

So, now you know my brunch secret:  I have to eat first.  If you ever invite me over to brunch (and really, why haven’t you?) don’t be offended if I don’t eat a lot.  It’s nothing against you or your cooking.  I’ve already eaten, so there’s not much room for your delicious waffles.  I will save room for mimosas though!  Cheers!