A “Capitol” Weekend

I’ve spent the weekend in DC with M.  It’s hot.  Not just hot, but HOT.  I swear I’m melting.  We took the metro down to the Mall this weekend and wandered around the Mall, monuments and museums. 

I have to say, the Mall is a mess.  A mess!  You’d think it would be lush green grass manicured within an inch of its life, but no.  It is a hot mess.  Full of weeds, a jumble of different grasses, pits, gouges, puddles and badly in need of grooming.  It was sad.  This is our National Mall!  It looks okay from a distance, but up close it’s a national embarrassment. Sheesh.  Obama needs to put in a call to the folks at Disney.  They know how to keep a lawn!

Look at this.  A disgrace!

DC does have a great metro though.  Check out this cool shot:

M and I went to the Castle of the Smithsonian and right in the center, they have the “pile of loot” (that’s totally what they label it BTW) from the NATM2 movie.  It made me laugh.

 

The Museum of Natural History was wonderful!  There was so much to see!  Dinosaurs and elephants and whales (oh my!).  They also had a butterfly house that I desperately wanted to go into.  M was not keen on it because it was a whopping $6 per person to get in.  When you consider the museum itself is free, that’s not too bad.  I wish a few other museums (I’m looking at you, Chicago) were as reasonable.  I batted my eyes, and said pretty please and he caved and shelled out the money.  We stood at the entry, M looking bored and annoyed and me having visions of twirling in a fancy dress, singing a song and having butterflies land on my finger and make a crown on my head.  Don’t ask me where the dress was supposed to come from or mind the fact that I can’t sing.  In my head it was fantastic!  I was like one of the Disney princesses that animals are naturally attracted to and want to do stuff for (you know, like cleaning and sewing and whatnot).  They can only let a few people in at a time, so we waited and I fantasized.  THEN!  The frosted doors to the entry chamber opened and beyond, I could see through the clear glass doors flowers and butterflies everywhere!  It was magnificent!  Gorgeous!  The lady gave a quick run down of does and don’ts (Do take photos and let the butterflies land on you.  Don’t step on them or try to pick them up).I was ready to twirl and break out into song when the clear doors opened and whoosh….it was HOT!  OMG, like knock the breath out of you hot.  My visions of twirling and singing and butterfly crowns crumpled to the floor like a butterfly with a broken wing.  WHAT WAS GOING ON?  WHY was is so freaking hot?  I could not breathe.  I stayed as long as I could, and even had a few butterflies land on me (squeeeeee!), but after about 10 minutes of mind numbing heat and humidity, I was done.  Done.  I told M I couldn’t take the heat any more and was ready to go and he told me he wanted to stay and take take photos and would meet me outside in the museum!  Can you believe it?  Irony.  He did take some lovely photos though.

 

After we had our fill of natural history, we decided to go take a peek at American history and walked over the the American History Museum.  It has recently reopened after “extensive” renovations and honestly, we found it sorely disappointing!  M and I had both been there in the past (at different times) and remembered a very different set up.  The exhibits were hard to get to and half the stuff we saw in the past wasn’t on display.  Where was Fonzie’s jacket?  I couldn’t even get a photo of Indiana Jones’ real jacket for Indy.  Boo!  We did find the ruby slippers and Archie Bunker’s chair, but we wanted to see more!  The First Lady’s exhibit (which I saw in the past and is FABULOUS) was impossible to get into unless you wanted to wait in line for an hour.  In the past, you could just walk through and wander around (like a museum should be), but now they herd you through the exhibits like cattle. You can’t even stop to look at things because you have to keep the line moving?  WHAT UP?  I’m an American!  That is MY museum!  I should get to wander around all I want and look at my leisure.  Seeing the recently restored Star Spangled Banner was kind of nice, but again, they herded us along so we couldn’t really appreciate the beauty of the flag that inspired our national anthem.  Boo, American History Museum, I say.  Boo!

After that, we walked about a billion miles (okay, not really, but it was really hot so it felt like a billion) to the Washington, Lincoln and war memorials.  If you’ve recently seen the new Night at the Museum movie, you’ll note that it looks like they walked straight from the castle to the Lincoln memorial.  Well, let me tell you, they did NOT.  They’d have to be running full tilt for a good 20 minutes to make it there as quickly as they did.  LIARS!

 

 

We also stopped by the WWII Memorial, which is beautiful!  It was the 65th anniversary of D-Day and there were so many vets there.  These are obviously not young men, but they traveled from all over the country to be at the memorial to mark the day that they changed the world and lost so many of their friends.  They were all wearing bright yellow t-shirts that said they were vets, so they were easy to spot.  M and I shook as many hands as we could and thanked them for their sacrifices.  It was very moving.

 

We walked over to the White House, but Obama was not there.  How rude.  Honestly, if someone were to show up at my house just to see me and I wasn’t home,  I’d be mortified.  He should have invited us to dinner, but no, he was in France.  I’m going to have to send him a strongly worded message.  :)

This is the Boy Scout memorial.  We want to know why there is a naked man at the the memorial.  I’m sure there’s some classical, philosophical reason, but it looks….well odd.

 

After that, we were exhausted and made our way back to the Metro and to the hotel.  The next day we went to Arlington, which was  overwhelming.  The sheer number of graves is breathtaking.  The Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers and changing of the guard is something everyone should see.  There were so many people there, but you could have heard a pin drop. 

Now that I’ve told you about my trip, I’m going to hop up on my soap box.  Did you know that there is not a WWI memorial in DC?  There is a small, very sad, very neglected memorial to the soldiers from DC who fought in WWI, but not a national monument.  I have to say, I’m outraged.  Outraged.  WWI was the first real war of the modern area and changed our world forever. 6 of every 10 soldiers in WWI were drafted.  These were men who fought weapons they couldn’t even have conceived of at the time.  They fought for honor and glory and died on the battlefields of Europe.  These were young, idealistic men who fought for patriotism and honor, and we have not, in the nearly 100 years since, seen fit to properly memorialize them.  We need a national monument.  I’m going to start a campaign about this.  I’ll post more on that at another time.  Until then, I’m off to Orlando and all the fun I can stand with a set of mouse ears.  I’ll see you all later.

On the move!

Hola, my peeps! I am blogging from Houston Bush Int'l Airport! They have no WiFi (WHAT?????) but a really nice lady offered me the use of her wireless card thingy so I could hook up and say hey to all of you lovelies.
I am on my way to Baltimore where M will pick me up and wisk me off to a 4 star hotel the Army is paying for while he is in some school. That we can't talk about. Someties his job is very frustrating for me because he can't tell me anything about it. Here's a typical conversation over dinner:
Me: So, how was your day?
M: Good.
Me: Anything exciting happen?
M: A little.
Me: What?
M: I can't tell you.
Me: I swear I won't tell!
M: Nope.
Me: Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase.
M: Nope. You'd end up blogging about it.
Me: No! I would never.
M: [giving me the look]
Me: I swear.
M: Nope.

Wouldn't that drive you batty?
Anyway, he's in DC and since the gov't is paying for it, I'm going to spend the weekend checking out our national treasures (you know, and shopping).
From there I will fly to Orlando and spend a few days in WDW with my mom, step-dad, Indy and my cousin's 8 year old daughter. Neither of them know where they are going. How cool is that?
Well, I guess I'd better give the card back. Can you believe Houston doesn't have WiFi? Seriously? Okay, I've always wanted to say this, so here goes: Houston, we have a problem. Bwahahahahahahaha! I kill myself. Also, I'm still jet lagged.
I'll see you all in DC!

Random Thoughts Tuesday: Jet Lag Edition

I'm so tired I can't even bother to go find the icon for this. Sorry UnMom.

*Is it really Tuesday? Cause I'm confuzzeled. <---Totally a word.

*America is big.

*And Loud.

*There are waaaaaaay to many TV channels. I can't even scroll through them all with out getting a headache.

*Typing on an unfamiliar computer is hard. My mom's laptop is set up differently than mine and I keep making serious typing mistakes. It's annoying to have to fix them all.

*Oh how I've missed you Brian Williams! I disliked you when you took over from Tom Brokaw, but now I like you. And your oddly downsloped eyebrows that make you look like you're either sad or confused.

*TARGET! I went there today. For 3 hours. I think the employees thought I was planning a heist. I love you Target!!!!!!! LOVE. YOU. Forever. Amen.

*If you've never been to a SuperTarget, I feel sad for you.

*I hate to fly.

*Would it kill the airlines to take out a few seats so a person can have some leg room? I'm not even tall (why aren't I tall? I want to be tall!) and I had no leg room. Stupid cheap airlines packing people in like Sardines. Didn't you get some sort of bailout? Use it to make things more comfy.

*$5 for headsets? Really? Come ON!

*Why don't I ever get an upgrade? I deserve to fly first class!

*I need more money.

*And sleep.

*Jet lag, you suck!

That is all. For now.

Blogging from the New World

Hello! We have sucessfully completed the longest leg of our journey (9 and a half hours from Frankfurt to Charlotte) and are now relaxing in the USO sipping on a Jamba Juice. God Bless America! Yes, we're loopy. Yes, we're tired. Yes, we still have another 3 hours before our next flight (which is 2 hours), but we've made it past the big one and came through it relatively unscathed. The hardest part was immigration when we got to the US. Good heavens! It took more than an hour (AN HOUR, I tell you) to get through immigration. Ridiculous. I'm a citizen! Where's my fast pass? Immigration could take a lesson from Disney and make a special Fast Pass lane. How awesome would that be? If you have a passport with a smart chip (which we do), you scan it and poof, you're done. No waiting in lines of cranky people who have foreign country and airplane funk all over them (if you've traveled internationally, you know what I'm talking about). Just swipe and go. Man, I need to patent that. Don't go stealing my ideas US gov't! I want my props on this idea. And by props I mean money. Lots of it.
Well, not I have to go do something about my insane hair. One good thing about having to go through customs and then recheck your luggage is that you can get into it and pull out your flat iron. Cause my hair is scary. Scary.
OMG, I think I just had a bolt of jet lag shoot through my body. I seriously swayed at the keyboard. This cannot be good.

Tchuβ!

That’s the informal version of goodbye in  German.  It’s pronounced “choo-ss” (in case you were wondering, which you probably weren’t but now if it ever comes up on Jeopardy!  you can shout it at the TV and feel smarter than Ken What’s-his-face).  IN English, it’s spelled Tchuss.  Why tchuss, you ask?  Because Indy and I are headed to the good old US of A tomorrow!  For a month!  Holy cow.  We have a 9 hour flight, a 5 hour layover and another 2 hour flight.  I may have to consume an alcoholic beverage or two on the flight.  I know they’re bad for me (you know, dehydration and whatnot), but if you’ve ever spent 9 hours on a plane with a very chatty 6 year old, you’d understand.  Plus, drinks are free on trans-Atlantic flights.

Have I finished packing?  Nope.  I’m trying (really hard) to put everything into one suitcase because we’re taking the train to Frankfurt and I don’t want to have to lug too much through the terminals (we have to change trains once), but it’s just not working.  Where do I pack all my shoes?  Speaking of shoes, I bought some GORGEOUS shoes yesterday.  They are acid green satin tennis shoes with about a 3 inch spike heel.  I almost drooled when I saw them.  They spoke to me.  “Mom in High Heels!”  They called. “You know you want us!  Look how cool we are.  Look how unusual we are.  Come to us.  Try us on.  You know you want to.  Resistance is futile”   First off, how they knew my blog name is beyond me, but I really did have to have them.   I tried them on.  I loved them.  They came home with me.  Now I just have to figure out how to get them in my luggage.

I’ll see you all on the other side of the pond.  Have a lovely Monday.

Oh, and for those of you who commented on my previous post, I want to say thanks for your warm wishes and concern for my health.  I’m sure I’ll be full of iron and pip soon. 

Tchuβ!

FINALLY! A reason for the exhaustion

I know you'll find this hard to believe, since I'm so witty and funny and whatnot, but over the last several months, I've been exhausted. I don't mean just tired, I mean exhausted. Barely able to function, exhausted. I would sleep 10+ hours a night, take a 2-3 hour nap every day and still be completely worn out. It's been getting progressively worse for a few months now and last week I finally decided to go see my doctor to find out what was going on. They drew a ton of blood (seriously, I need that stuff) and did a bazillion tests. Today I had my follow up for the results. The first thing my doc said he wasn't surprised I was tired. He was actually more surprised that I was upright and conscious. Well, with an opening like that, I was a bit concerned. He sat down with me and went over a bunch of numbers that didn't make much sense to me, but I smiled and nodded like I knew what he was talking about. My iron levels are beyond low. The normal range is 25-170, with 25 being on the edge of anemia. My level is 15. My blood itself has a very low red and white blood count. He said my blood is mostly fluid and nearly opaque under a microscope. Nice, huh? My binding agent is good (on the upper end of the spectrum even), but there are so few blood cells for it to bind to. So now I have to take iron supplements. Hurrah. If, after a month my iron levels don't increase, I may have to do a transfusion. No thank you.
He said I need to eat more green vegetables, especially spinach. I actually laughed at that. I eat spinach almost every freaking day. Indy and I grew salad spinach from seed for a school project and we are now overloaded with fresh spinach. If I ate more, I'd turn into Popeye.
On the up side though, he said my kidney and liver levels were at the level of a teenager. He's incredibly impressed with how good a shape my internal organs are. Yea for me, I guess.

Random Thoughts Tuesday! Again!

Tuesday! Tuesday! Tuesday! My brain is full and needs to be purged.

*I'm flying to the States in 6 days. I haven't even thought about packing. I don't care.

*When we went to France the other day, I was doing 120/mph (you read that right) and got PASSED. Many times. Crazy German driver, how I love you!

*My house is a mess. I don't care.

*I'm trying (really hard) to take an interest in the whole Supreme Court nominations thing, but I just can't. Say it with me: I don't care!

*My dogs are freaking insane. Arf, the little one who's name should really be Napoleon, because he's small, but has BIG plans, is barking at the TV. Animals on TV drive him crazy. If he sees an animal (especially a horse) on TV, he goes into some sort of anger trance, charges the TV (not that he can reach it, he's about 8 inches tall), barking and growling, chases his tail a few times, then looks back up at the TV to see if the animals are still there, then starts the whole thing over again. This goes on as long as there's an animal on TV. This actually affects our viewing choices. We never watch anything staring an animal unless we put him in his crate first and if we're flipping through the channels and come across an animal on the screen, we turn it as quickly as possible. Stupid dog. Good thing he's cute.

*Obama needs some Botox between his eyes. That little 'V' thing is really deep. He should get that taken care of. I'm just sayin.

*Oh, speaking of V, does anyone remember that show? OMG, it scared the beejeebers out of me. The baby with the forked tongue scarred me for life. What were my parents thinking letting me watch that? I was 11. Sheesh.

*I can't find the pedal to my sewing machine. Why wouldn't the packers pack them together?

*I wish I had an ugly brick fireplace so I could paint it. It looks so cool on TV, I'm just itching to try it. Isn't that an odd thing to think about?

*I want a pink hammer.

*I'm so sick of make over shows talking about how green something is every 5 minutes. Good grief! Put a disclaimer at the front of the show: ALL PRODUCTS USED ON TODAY'S SHOW ARE GREEN. EVEN THE ELECTRICITY USED DURING FILIMINGWAS MADE BY MAKING THE PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS RUN ON A GIANT TREADMILL BECAUSE WE CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT AND ARE BETTER THAN YOU, YOU TV WATCHING SLACKER WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DECORATE.

*I finally saw Slumdog Millionaire last night. It was fantastic! If you haven't seen it, it's not just hype. It's a really well acted, well filmed movie that has a great story. Oh, and you must watch the end credits. "Who want to be a mill-on-air?"

*I now have a totally inappropriate crush on Dev Patel. He was born while I was a junior in HS. OMG, I'm almost a Mrs. Robinson.

* I love the word cupola.

Now, rush over to The Un Mom and read all the other randomness.

Memorial Day 2009

Today we took a trip to the Lorraine American Military Cemetery in St. Avold, France for the Memorial Day ceremony.  It is the largest WWII American Cemetery in Europe. It was almost overwhelming.

The surrounding area is quiet and peaceful and the entrance to the cemetery is green and beautiful.  You have to walk up a hill to get to the actually cemetery.  At the top of it is the memorial chapel.  This is it from the front, but you approach from the back. 

Just as you crest the rise, the cemetery itself comes into view.  The sheer number of crosses is astounding.

 

The cemetery is 113 acres and is the resting place of over 10,500 US soldiers.

  

   

   

The US Girl Scouts in Germany teamed up with the French Scouts (co-ed) to place flags on each grave.  That’s more than 21,000 flags.  They also carried in each of the wreaths that were laid by various people with a connection to the cemetery. 

The gentleman standing to the far right of this photo is a WWII vet who fought in France.

 

Past and present military were present, as were French military.

It was a solemn day that will be with us for years to come.  As you spend your Memorial Day with friends and family at barbeques or picnics celebrating the beginning of summer, please take a moment to think about all those who serve today, those who served and fought in the past, and especially those who never made it home.

Friday Funnies

I don’t have much going on right now, but I’ve been writing down silly conversations we’ve had with Indy over the past couple of months and I thought I’d share them with you. If you knew Indy in real life (and some of you do) you’d know he really does talk this way. I swear sometimes I feel like I’m living with Benjamin Button. A little old man in a kid’s body. So, here are your Friday Funnies, courtesy of Indy.

A few weeks ago we were going to a friend’s birthday party and were sitting at a stoplight. Indy was being unusually quiet (always suspicious) when out of the blue:

Indy: So, Mom, when Dad put me in you, did he give you sleeping pills to knock you out first?

****crickets****

Me (after sputtering and trying not to look at M for fear of cracking up): Where did you hear that?

Indy: I didn’t hear it, I just figured that’s how it must happen.

M (to me): Do you think it’s time for the talk?

Indy: Not until I’m 10 Dad! I’m too young for the talk, but I thought I’d just try to figure it out myself.

Me: Please don’t tell anyone else you’re theories, okay?

Indy: Oh, I won’t. Other kids need to figure out for themselves that they’re dad gave their mom sleeping pills to put the baby in their tummy.

Me: That’s not how it happens.

Indy: So, no sleeping pills?

Me: No.

Indy: So Dad, how did you knock her out? You didn’t hit her did you?

M: Of course I didn’t hit her!

Indy: So how did you make her go to sleep?

M: I didn’t.

Indy: So, no sleeping?

Me: No. No sleeping.

Indy: You were awake when he put me in you?

Me: Yes.

Indy: Wow. Did it hurt?

M and I are trying really hard not to laugh, but not doing a very good job.

Me: No, it didn’t hurt.

Indy: Interesting. I’m going to have to think about this some more then.

Me: We’ll talk about it another time, but until then, you keep this to yourself. Okay?

Indy: Yeah, yeah. To myself. But Dad, don’t you try to give me the talk. I won’t be ready until I’m 10.

M: Okay. When you’re 10.

Indy: That’s right. But I’m going to think on it until then. I’m not going to say anything though. Just think about it.

Me: Okay, that’s a good idea.

Indy: One question. Does it have anything to do with dancing? Because if it does, I’m not dancing with anyone until I’m like a grown up.

M: No, it' doesn’t have anything to do with dancing.

Indy: Good, cause I like to dance. Are we almost at the party? I could really use some cake.

*******************************************************************

Last week he was watching The Wizard of Oz in German (at his German class) and I came in to pick him up.

Indy: Hey, Mom! It’s that movie where the girl and her friends get to kill all those witches and her henchmen and they don’t get in trouble.

Me: What?

Indy: You know, that girl, Dorothy and her friends. They drop the house on the witch and melt the other one, and kill those henchmen guards and they totally get away with it. I can’t believe it. They should really go to jail.

*******************************************************************

Indy: Hey mom.

Me: Yes?

Indy: Do you think I might be a genius?

Me: I don’t know, but it’s possible.

Indy: I think I might be.

Me: Really? Why do you think that?

Indy: Well, I’m pretty smart and I can do math in my head, plus I’m really handsome, so I think I might be a genius.

Me: You could be right.

Indy: Yeah, you’re so lucky to get me as your kid.

Me: I sure am.

*******************************************************************

Indy split his chin open the other night by falling out of the bed, trying to “rescue” Teddy who had fallen in the middle of the night.

Me: What were you doing?

Indy: Well, Teddy fell out of the bed and I had to rescue him.

Me: He fell? You don’t think he jumped?

Indy: No, I don’t think he jumped. He just fell. It was an accident.

Me: Are you sure? You don’t think maybe Skokie (another teddy bear) pushed him?

Indy: No way! Skokie would never do that! They love each other.

Me: Well, that’s a relief.

Indy: They don’t love each other like boyfriend and girlfriend though, because they’re both boys and I don’t know how that would work. I don’t think either of them wants to be a girl. They just love each other like BFF’s.

*******************************************************************

This morning I was making breakfast and Indy comes out dressed in his Harry Potter gear and offered to grant me some wishes.

Me: What should I wish for?

Indy (looking around): You should wish for some basil in the window.

Me: Okay, I wish for some basil in the window.

Indy (swishing his wand): Poof! Granted.

Me: Thanks, I really needed a basil plant.

Indy: I know. What else would you like?

Me: How about some peace and quiet?

Indy: I’m afraid that’s not in the wizard manual.

*********************************************************************

Get your act together and stop the schlump

Yesterday I had a doctor’s appointment (everything’s fine, don’t worry). I got up and put myself together. Nothing fancy, jeans, cute top (not trendy or expensive, just cute), with a scarf (it’s very European to wear a scarf all the time) and slipped on a pair of super cute high heeled slide sandals (seriously, they’re ridiculously cute). I did my hair and spent about 6 minutes slapping on some moisturizer, face powder, lipstick and mascara. I did not put a lot of effort into getting myself together, but I put some effort.

I sat in the waiting room and looked around at all the other people waiting I wondered why the lack of effort. I mean we were in a waiting room of the doctor’s office and it’s possible that some of these people were indeed sick (though no one really looked like swine flu sick or sick at all to be honest), but even sick, I can brush my hair and put on something other than grubby sweats, a holey t-shirt and flip flops.

I have to say it makes me sad that people (specifically women) take so little pride in themselves and their personal appearance. It doesn’t take much time, effort or even money to look good. Nice clothes can be found at yard sales, thrift stores and second hand shops for very little. Just washing your face, brushing your hair and putting on decent clothes goes a long way though. I just don’t understand why people don’t care about the way they look. I’m not saying I look I look great all the time (believe me, I don’t), but unless I’m half dead I make an effort.

Are you guilty of this? Do you just not care what you look like when you go out? I’m not saying looks are everything, and you should judge people by outward appearances (but let’s be honest here, we all do, even though we know we shouldn’t), but think about the image you put out there. Does it project who you are? Are you a schlump? Are you a woman who puts all her effort into everything but herself? Be proud of yourself! Even if you think you’re overweight or out of shape or you’re tired (believe me, I’m there every day) or you have a million other things to do, take a few minutes for yourself and make an effort. Not only will you look better, you’ll feel better.

And now I’m getting off my soapbox. On which I wore kick ass shoes.

EDIT: Let me climb back up on my box (not as easy as you'd think in these shoes). After reading the comments, I would like to clarify that I'm not saying you should wear makeup every day to look good. Some people are allergic, and while that makes me a little sad for you, it's completely understandable. If you don't wear makeup, that's okay. Even if you don't wear makeup though, you can brush your hair and wear clean, non grubby clothes. Looking decent doesn't mean looking like a fashion plate. It just means you take some pride in your personal appearance. Now, could someone please help me down?

Random Thoughts Tuesday!

RTT! RTT! RTT! I love it!

*Germans love to protest. I don’t know why, perhaps because they were oppressed for so long that they take great pride in the fact that they can actually protest? Whatever. They’re really good at it. Very organized, and usually very peaceful. After I dropped Indy off at his German lessons today I got trapped in protest traffic. The Polezei had stopped all the traffic to let the protesters pass. They were students protesting….something. I couldn’t read exactly what they were protesting (note to self: learn more German), but they were students (probably from the University) and there were hundreds of them. It was pretty impressive. I was still mad about getting stuck in the traffic though.

*I miss commercials! Can you believe it? Me neither, but there you have it. AFN does not air commercials, so they fill the time with stupid little military commercials. LAME.

*AFN used to be called Armed Forces Network, but after 50 years, they decided Armed was too aggressive, so it was changed to American Forces Network. This happened right around the time we invaded Iraq. Anyone like a big slice of irony?

*Give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that KitKat bar.

*I wish That 70’s Show hadn’t gone off the air. I love that show.

*My little piggies need a pedicure.

*Sometimes I miss being a stupid teenager without a care in the world. Life was so simple then. And I never had acne, so that’s a bonus.

*My ringtone on M’s phone is “Brickhouse”

*Sometimes I get really irritated at the recommendations from Amazon. Just because I looked at Stargate Atlantis once (for M), does not mean I want to know about every Sci-Fi show ever made. Seriously.

*I’m really apathetic about the American Idol Finale. I’m sure Adam is going to win, and while I like him, he’s just too Broadway for me.

*Where's my flying car? Aren't we supposed to have flying cars and robots by now?

*My computer is hot on my lap. Maybe it’s a sign I should end this? Yeah, probably. So, go read the other randomness!

Good heavens! I forgot! Bloggy awards

Oh dear.  I’m a bad blogger.  Bad, bad, blogger.  I have gotten awards!  Several of them, and forgot to post.    Oh, bad, bad, Mom in High Heels!  I do not mean to be ungrateful, I swear to you I don’t, and I apologize from the bottom of my heart to the lovely bloggers who gave them to me. 

I’m sorry and embarrassed to say I can’t remember who gave me these (hiding my head in shame). 

I’m not feeling fabulous right now.  :(

Or excellent.

Or Kreative.  Maybe Kre8iv, but still a bad blogger.

 

Or even bubbly (though the little shoe is super cute).

But.  BUT!  I do know who gave me this award!  Pan x 8 over at The Insanities of a Stay-At-Home Mom (girl, do I feel you!).

I’d like to pass it on to the following blogs:

The Joys of Homeschooling

Riverside Scholars

Dance Shoes and Combat Boots

Serenity Now

 

Again, I so apologize to the bloggers who gave me the first awards posts.  I feel that, since I’m a bad blogger, I cannot pass them on, but I promise I do love them.  Thanks to you all.  And big fat bloggy kisses to each and every one of you.  Purely platonic of course.  ;)

Where are my Oprah diamonds?

When I lived in the States, I didn’t watch Oprah very often, but now that I’m reduced to 8 channels of…pretty much nothing, I find myself watching her show almost daily.  Sometimes I like the guests or topic, and sometimes, I don’t, but still, there’s little else on and laundry is boring, so I’ll watch.  Even before I became a daily watcher though, I was obsessed with her earrings.  I swear they are hypnotic and even if I’m not interested in he show, I find myself staring at her earrings.  Isn’t that funny?  I normally don’t even wear earrings myself, but I so want a pair of diamond earrings.  Not just any old 1/4 or 1/2 carat studs.  Not even 1 carat studs.  No, no.  I want Oprah diamonds.  What are Oprah diamonds, you ask?  Oprah diamonds are the kind that can blind you if he light hits them right.  They’re HUGE.  I so want them. 

  

 

See?  Gorgeous, aren’t they?  Yes, I know Oprah works hard for what she has and blah, blah, blah, and I applaud her efforts, but darn it, I want those earrings!   Look, even Oprah, can’t believe I don’t have some:

Actually, I couldn’t find a photo of my favorite pair (she has lots of diamond earrings).  They are similar to the ones shown above, but they are princess cut (square) with larger princess cut drops.  Man, I love those!  They have to be a least 3-5 carats (each).  I know coveting is wrong and one of the “deadly sins,” but I can’t help it, I covet those earrings.  Where are my Oprah diamonds????

Do you have an odd obsession with something a celebrity wears?  Am I just nuts?  Don’t answer that. 

Random Thoughts Tuesday: The one where I ask a bunch of dumb questions

 

 

Huzzah!  Tuesday!  You know how I love Tuesdays!  Let’s just make with the randomness shall we?

*Why ARE there so many songs about rainbows?  Really?  WHY?

*Because it has to be asked: what is on the other side?

*Why isn’t it easy being green?  I think Kermit should try being magenta or tangerine and see how difficult it is to blend.  I think he’d appreciate his green-ness.

*Why does Miss Piggy have a thing for Kermit?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a Kermit fan, he’s the only Muppet with any sense, but really, a pig and a frog?  How would that even work?  Ewwww…now I’m picturing it and it is not cool.

*If Miss Piggy is sooooo hot for Kermit, why does she flirt with Matt Lauer every time she’s on Today?  Cause it ticks me off. 

*Why am I on a Muppet kick this morning? 

*Who did write the book of love? Cause I’d like to kick his @ss for making it so crazy.

*Did you know there was a talent show in China call the Mongolian Cow Sour Yoghurt Super Girl?  Yeah, me neither, but Oprah says so, so it must be true.  But why? 

*Why is it so hard to get out of bed in the mornings?

*How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll Center of a Tootsie Pop?  The owl totally bit.

*Why is it so easy to gain weight and yet so bloody hard to lose it? 

*Why are Sloppy Joe’s called that? 

*Why are there so many Star Trek movies? 

*More importantly, why do people feel the need to speak Klingon?  I mean I get that you like ST, but really?  Really?

*Why do my abs hurt sooooooo much after yoga? 

*Have you ever heard of naked yoga?  I saw a poster for it the other day and thought, why would anyone do that?  And then I thought, ewwww gross.

And so ends today’s randomness. 

Ta-da! Meta-ME!

Okay, so I can join in on meta Monday (cause I love ‘em), I’m revealing my personal meta.

This is me around Jan.

And this is me after my haircut!  Ta-da!    I chopped about 8” of hair off (it looks longer because of all the layering).  I’m still getting used to it, but I’m really liking how quickly I can do my hair in the mornings. 

 

Thanks for stopping by.  What do you think?  Am I crazy?

Lightening my load. Or What on earth have I done?

Do you ever feel all crazy inside?  No?  Just me?  Okay then.  Sometimes I just feel….like I need to do something.  I get in a frump and then feel I have to do something nuts to get myself out of it.  It usually works.  Now, don’t get me wrong here, I’m not getting things pierced or tattooed (I’m too much of a chicken for that-I wanted drugs the moment I found out I was pregnant, you know, just in case).  I prefer to go with something less permanent and painful. 

Today I had an appointment to get my eyebrows threaded.  Ever heard of that?  It originated in India and has been used in Europe and the Middle East for decades (probably longer).  My stylist is from Iran and said she learned to do it when she was about 12 (she now in her mid-50’s so she’s got some experience).  I was very apprehensive.   Waxing scares the beejeebers out of me and I really had no idea what I was in for.  She took a spool of cotton thread and first tied it around her neck (for tension) then had about 3 feet hanging off.  She folded it in half, twisted it up and ran it over my eyebrows.  I can’t say it didn’t hurt, because it did, but not nearly as much as I expected.  It took her less than 10 minutes to do both eyebrows and they look fantastic!  They’ve never looked that good with waxing and the best part was there was no redness or swelling!  Huzzah!  But this is not the craziness.

I sat in the chair and here’s our conversation:

Me: You know what?  I’m thinking about chopping off my hair.

Super Awesome Stylist (in her very odd accent that is a mixture of Iranian and German):  NO!  You have bea-utiful hair!  You can’t!

Me:  No, I’m really thinking about it.

SAS:  If I had hair like yours I’d never cut it.  Never, never, never.

Me:  You say that, but if you had to seal with it every day, you’d think differently.

SAS:  No, I would have a wonderful new style every day!

Me:  For about a week, and then you’d get tired of it and pull it into a ponytail and feel like a schlump.

SAS:  You might be right, but you cannot cut your hair!

Me:  Yeah, I can.  Or rather you can.  Do you have time?

SAS:  Right now?

Me:  Yeah, before I lose my nerve.

SAS:  Yes, but are you sure?

Me:  Yes, let’s do it.

SAS:  Sure?

Me:  Yes.

Then we flipped through some style books and decided what would look best on me.  She washed my hair, pulled it up in clips (you know, making me look super fancy), and got out the scissors.  She combed a section in the back and prepared to cut.

SAS:  Are you really sure?  I don’t want to cut and then have you change your mind.

Me:  It will grow back.

SAS:  Okay.  Here goes.

I almost fainted when I felt the cut and let out a squeal when I saw the 8 inch hunk of my hair lying on the ground.  OMG!  What did I just do?  I swear I got dizzy and things spun for a moment.  She kept clipping away and more of my hair fluttered to the floor. I looked at it lying there, sad, lifeless and waiting to be swept away.  My poor hair!  It was too late to turn back and she kept at it.  When she was done she looked down and said she’d never cut so much hair off of one person.  It looked like there was about 2 pounds of hair lying at her feet (I have got enough hair for about 3 people.  It’s insane).  I looked in the mirror and shook my much, much, much lighter head.  It took a few moments for me to realize that I had actually had it cut off.  She looked at me apprehensively, but I told her it was great, and it is.  I left feeling lighter both literally and figuratively.    The craziness I’ve been feeling for a few weeks seemed to evaporate.  Isn’t it amazing what a haircut can do?

I don’t have any photos yet, but as soon as I do, I’ll post them.  For now I can tell you that it’s bobbed shoulder length and heavily layered (because there’s so much of it).  It frames my face and really looks great.  My hair, in addition to being crazy thick, grows abnormally fast, so it’ll grow back, but for now, I like it.   And it didn’t involve needles. 

Randomness all around!

Weeeeee! It’s TUESDAY! I love Tuesday! Why? Because that means it’s time for more randomness!

*Randomness looks like it’s spelled wrong, but it’s not.

*My feet are cold.

*I wish my hair looked like Maria Menounos’s. She has a stylist though, so that’s why it always looks good.

*Why don’t I have a stylist? Life would be so much easier if I had a stylist. And a cook. And a maid. Oh, and a masseuse.

*Laundry. Must do laundry. I’m running out of clothes. grumblegrumbleIhatelaundrygrumblegrumble.

*Male birth control? WHAT? Injectable? I like it! Of course the FDA was quick to approve Viagra, but I’m sure they’ll drag their feet on male birth control. Bastards.

*Hearing Ann Curry say “sperm count” over and over is creepy, yet funny.

*I envy how much my dogs get to sleep. And how quickly they fall asleep.

*I’ve been sleeping on my bed with no sheets for 2 days. God, I’m lazy! Note to self: Put sheets on the bed!

*If you’ve never had Butterkase (butter cheese), I feel sorry for you. It’s so delicious.

*The weather is chilly and gray.

*I wonder if Bumpits really work. Go look at them (not yet). I’m oddly obsessed.

*I wish I were a CEO. I’d like a big bonus for running a company into the ground.

*Have you ever been to AsSeenOnTV.com? I could literally spend hours there just looking at all the crazy stuff they sell. It’s amusing. Don’t leave yet.

*Ditto Cake Wrecks. I often wonder what people could be thinking. Seriously, finish my post before you click the links.

*Oh, crap! Look at the time. I must get myself together. Indy has a German lesson today and he can’t drive himself. Darn it.

Now you make look at the links and then check out all the other randomness (just click the pic above and you’ll go directly to unmom).

PS. I knew the swine flu was mostly hype. Knew. It. Don't believe me? Go read last Tuesday's randomness.

IDHTBPTBB-the ebook

Have you heard?  Have you?  The Nester has written an ebook!  I know, I’m crazy excited too!  I signed up for mine, did I mention it’s free?  No?  Sorry about that.  It is!  FREE!  I’m squealing with delight inside.  Okay, maybe a smidge on the outside too, but I cannot firm or deny that.  If you head over to the Nester, you can register for her “might be regular, might not be regular”  newsletter and you will get a copy of the ebook.  FOR FREE!

If you’ve never been to the Nester (and seriously is there any woman in blogland over the age 20 who hasn’t?), you are in for a treat.  She. Will. Set. You. Free.  Free from whatever is holding you back from making your house into the home you’ve always wanted.  You may remember last Monday’s Meta.  I love my great room and would never have been bold enough to do what I wanted if it weren’t for Nester.  Go get your  book and set yourself free.