Friday Funnies

I don’t have much going on right now, but I’ve been writing down silly conversations we’ve had with Indy over the past couple of months and I thought I’d share them with you. If you knew Indy in real life (and some of you do) you’d know he really does talk this way. I swear sometimes I feel like I’m living with Benjamin Button. A little old man in a kid’s body. So, here are your Friday Funnies, courtesy of Indy.

A few weeks ago we were going to a friend’s birthday party and were sitting at a stoplight. Indy was being unusually quiet (always suspicious) when out of the blue:

Indy: So, Mom, when Dad put me in you, did he give you sleeping pills to knock you out first?

****crickets****

Me (after sputtering and trying not to look at M for fear of cracking up): Where did you hear that?

Indy: I didn’t hear it, I just figured that’s how it must happen.

M (to me): Do you think it’s time for the talk?

Indy: Not until I’m 10 Dad! I’m too young for the talk, but I thought I’d just try to figure it out myself.

Me: Please don’t tell anyone else you’re theories, okay?

Indy: Oh, I won’t. Other kids need to figure out for themselves that they’re dad gave their mom sleeping pills to put the baby in their tummy.

Me: That’s not how it happens.

Indy: So, no sleeping pills?

Me: No.

Indy: So Dad, how did you knock her out? You didn’t hit her did you?

M: Of course I didn’t hit her!

Indy: So how did you make her go to sleep?

M: I didn’t.

Indy: So, no sleeping?

Me: No. No sleeping.

Indy: You were awake when he put me in you?

Me: Yes.

Indy: Wow. Did it hurt?

M and I are trying really hard not to laugh, but not doing a very good job.

Me: No, it didn’t hurt.

Indy: Interesting. I’m going to have to think about this some more then.

Me: We’ll talk about it another time, but until then, you keep this to yourself. Okay?

Indy: Yeah, yeah. To myself. But Dad, don’t you try to give me the talk. I won’t be ready until I’m 10.

M: Okay. When you’re 10.

Indy: That’s right. But I’m going to think on it until then. I’m not going to say anything though. Just think about it.

Me: Okay, that’s a good idea.

Indy: One question. Does it have anything to do with dancing? Because if it does, I’m not dancing with anyone until I’m like a grown up.

M: No, it' doesn’t have anything to do with dancing.

Indy: Good, cause I like to dance. Are we almost at the party? I could really use some cake.

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Last week he was watching The Wizard of Oz in German (at his German class) and I came in to pick him up.

Indy: Hey, Mom! It’s that movie where the girl and her friends get to kill all those witches and her henchmen and they don’t get in trouble.

Me: What?

Indy: You know, that girl, Dorothy and her friends. They drop the house on the witch and melt the other one, and kill those henchmen guards and they totally get away with it. I can’t believe it. They should really go to jail.

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Indy: Hey mom.

Me: Yes?

Indy: Do you think I might be a genius?

Me: I don’t know, but it’s possible.

Indy: I think I might be.

Me: Really? Why do you think that?

Indy: Well, I’m pretty smart and I can do math in my head, plus I’m really handsome, so I think I might be a genius.

Me: You could be right.

Indy: Yeah, you’re so lucky to get me as your kid.

Me: I sure am.

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Indy split his chin open the other night by falling out of the bed, trying to “rescue” Teddy who had fallen in the middle of the night.

Me: What were you doing?

Indy: Well, Teddy fell out of the bed and I had to rescue him.

Me: He fell? You don’t think he jumped?

Indy: No, I don’t think he jumped. He just fell. It was an accident.

Me: Are you sure? You don’t think maybe Skokie (another teddy bear) pushed him?

Indy: No way! Skokie would never do that! They love each other.

Me: Well, that’s a relief.

Indy: They don’t love each other like boyfriend and girlfriend though, because they’re both boys and I don’t know how that would work. I don’t think either of them wants to be a girl. They just love each other like BFF’s.

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This morning I was making breakfast and Indy comes out dressed in his Harry Potter gear and offered to grant me some wishes.

Me: What should I wish for?

Indy (looking around): You should wish for some basil in the window.

Me: Okay, I wish for some basil in the window.

Indy (swishing his wand): Poof! Granted.

Me: Thanks, I really needed a basil plant.

Indy: I know. What else would you like?

Me: How about some peace and quiet?

Indy: I’m afraid that’s not in the wizard manual.

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