The journey of a thousand miles begins with...the perfect pair of shoes.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Loving the second child

Warning:  I'm hormonal, so this is slightly more mushy and slightly less sarcastic than my normal posts.  Fear not though, I'll be back to form soon.  

From the moment we found out I was pregnant with him early in 2002, Indy has been the center of our universe. His birth was much anticipated, especially by my parents as he would be their first and only grandchild as I have no siblings. His early entrance to the world was much celebrated and James Bond and I were immediately and deeply in love with the super tiny little bundle, who would change our world so completely. For 8 years we've watched him grow and delighted in every first and marked every milestone. Since we homeschool, Indy and I are pretty much always together and are very close (not Norman Bates close, but close).  We have a great time together and talk about anything and everything.  He amazes me on a daily basis.
When we found out I was pregnant with Han Solo, we were excited (one the shock and the "how did this happen?" wore off), but wondered how we could possibly love another child as much as we loved Indy.  For months this was a real concern.  There was even an entire thread on my birth board, from parents of other older onlies.  It was good to know that we werent' alone in our fears, but it didn't do anything to make them any better.
We also worried about how Indy would take having another child get our affection.  He had been an only child for 8 years and was used to getting all our attention.  He had wanted a baby brother (and would "even take a sister") since he could say the word "baby" and even said one year that he would tell Santa he didn't need any toys if Santa would just bring him a baby.  Wanting a sibling and actually having one are two different things though.
Two nights before Han Solo made his big arrival, James Bond and I once again talked about how worried we were that we wouldn't be able to love Han Solo as much as we did Indy.  We both felt horrible and guilty for this, but didn't know how we would love him as much.  It's hard to imagine loving anyone, even another child of yours, as much as you do the first.  Would Han Solo feel less loved?  We certainly didn't want him to, but couldn't see how it wasn't going to happen.  I went to bed at night pondering this.
At 10:33 am on April 4th though, all those worries vanished.  From the second we saw Han Solo, it was instant love.  Love at first sight.  Miraculously (much like the Grinch, whose heart grew 3 sizes that day), my heart had enough room to love both boys and so did James Bond's.  I didn't feel more or less love for one boy than the other, I just loved them both with my whole heart.  Han Solo is only 10 days old, but we already can't imagine life without him.  James Bond and I laughed over our silly fears last night.  Was it really less than 2 weeks ago we worried about not loving him enough?   The amazing thing about being a parent is that you really do have enough love to give all of your children.  Of course Indy will always be special because he was the first, but Han Solo is just as special in his own way.  He's our late 30's baby.  The one who will keep us young and exhaust us in a way Indy didn't.  I can't wait to see where the days and years lead us.

Indy is so over the moon in love with Han Solo, it only makes me love him even more.   Look at my boys.  How could I not adore them both?


Raven said...

*sniff, sniff* Wonderful post. It's amazing how much love one heart can hold, isn't it? Your boys are beautiful!

Chris V said...

Sigh, now I'm crying at work.

Jennifer said...

BEAUTIFUL PAIR OF BOYS THERE! CONGRATULATIONS And yes its amazing how you learn to love, you love the same yet different with each child!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Such a precious photo! :) You guys were totally normal--I think just about every parent has that fear before the second child comes along. :) The heart's an amazing thing, huh? :)

Deb said...

BEAUTIFUL picture of your boys!!

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

Ah yes. My girl was 12, 12! When sweet boy was born. What was I to do with a boy? My beautiful cherished boy. Ahhhh.

My mom had 8 children and was once asked if she had a favorite. She answered "Yes." We all waited in shocked silence for the answer.
"Whatever child needs me the most, be it illness, getting into trouble, or merely in need of a hug. That child is my favorite."
Nuff said.

Screaming Meme said...

I want another one now...:( So sweet! I wanted to stop in and let you know that I am back to blogging. I missed visiting. So glad to be back!

Xo, Meme

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