The journey of a thousand miles begins with...the perfect pair of shoes.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

RTT: Me and Johnny and Judgy McJudgerson

 RTT!  Best day of the week!  You know why.

*Yes, it's true.  I am the real reason my beloved Johnny Depp and that woman are breaking up.  He finally succumbed to  his deep and abiding love for me.  You  knew this would happen.

*Do you ever wonder if people judge you by what's in your cart at the grocery store? I don't buy a lot of junk food (much to James Bond's frustration), but when I do, I always think other people look at it and think I feed my family crap.

*BTW, I wonder about the whole judging by what's in my cart because I totally judge others by what's in their cart. Yep, I sure do. 3 cases of soda, 6 bags of chips, 15 frozen burritos and 52 packages of Ramen Noodles? Yes, I feel better about myself and my clearly superior cooking skills. I may have issues.

*I am oddly fascinated by Newt Gringrich's (current) wife's hair.  Seriously, look at it!  It does not move.  Ever.

*Even if it's food that's healthy and good for you, if you eat a ton of it, it's really not.

*Why is that in any movie or commercial where a kid or teenager gets hit by a car they always show a shoe that has come off laying in front of the car?  It's weird and creepy.

*I suppose if Obama doesn't get reelected he can always start a singing career.

*Speaking of Obama and Gingrich (I was, wasn't I?)  this cracked me up:

*Chuck Norris was once the Jewish Humanitarian of the Year. (Seriously)

*Remember how I was griping last week about the Girl Scouts and their evil, delicious cookies that you cannot get away from?   They're serious.  You WILL buy their cookies! (read the caption).

 *The Guinness world record for the most stolen book from public libraries is the Guinness World Record book itself.  Huh.

*A few months back we went to the flea market in Heidelberg (as you can tell, we loves us some good flea markets-and proper English) and Indy saw an old rotary phone.  He looked at it curiously and asked what it was.  Realizing he had probably never actually seen one, I explained that it was a phone.  He looked at me skeptically.  He picked up the receiver and turned it around, wondering why it was attached with a cord.  Good heavens.  He asked where the buttons where.  I felt incredibly old and showed him how the dial worked.  He was incredulous by how long it took and asked where you stored the numbers.  I explained that there was no storage and that you actually had to remember someone's number if you wanted to call them.  He could not believe that people used to have to use a phone that was hooked to the base, took forever to dial and didn't store any numbers.  He also commented that by the time you actually got through dialing 911, you'd probably be dead.

*Is it wrong that I have more posts with the tag Johnny Depp than I do for James Bond?  

*The birds in Wiesbaden are freaky.  The black birds (crows maybe?) are freakishly huge.  I mean big enough to carry off our dogs huge.  They scare me.  The pigeons are also incredibly numerous and creepy.  There are a flock of them that sit on the roof of the building across from us and I swear they are plotting to take over.  Alfred Hitchcock would really like it.

*Someone just came to test our smoke alarms.  Of course this meant that they went off.  They are incredibly loud.

*I've noticed that Germans up here (like the guys that were here to check the smoke alarms) tend to say "chow" (which is Italian, right?) when they leave instead of "tchuss," which is German.  In HD, they said tschuss (chew-ss), but in not in Wiesbaden.  I wonder why?

*And now you know where their inspiration came from:

Happy RTT.  Click the button at the top to read the other RTT's and add your own.

In addition to RTT, I'm linking to TTUT.  Check them out. 

Seriously Shawn


allstarme said...

I TOTALLY judge people based on their cart contents. mostly because I DON'T buy a lot of that junk and if they have tons of bad foods in their, I just feel sorry for them. But, I also see it as Darwinism as work!

VandyJ said...

I could never be a cashier at a supermarket, I'd spend way to much time trying to figure out what people were cooking for dinner based on what they were buying.

jpooh said...

I LOVE your RTT - it's this marvelous (and humorous) stream of consciousness. Brava!

Since we tend to only shop at farms and farmer's markets with the occasional winter foray to the local "natural foods" store, I totally judge people by what's in their grocery basket when we're at a conventional store. And I'm sure they judge us, thinking that we must do nothing but go to the bathroom and drink wine (and not necessarily in that order).

Jan from the Sushi Bar

Katey Guillot said...

I judge. I judge a lot. If a family that is struggling to get by to pay for student loans and mortgages can afford to cook 96% of their meals from scratch with healthy ingredients, I feel like everyone else should. Especially if they have kids. There's nothing wrong with a little junk food (I am particularly fond of teriyaki ramen for snacks and quick work lunches), but if your whole diet is junk, you need help. Or a chef. Both?

My munchkin is used to seeing old school phones. I bought an antique one to use when we lived on Robins AFB, and she was forever playing with it once we realized home phone service was a waste of money. Obviously such a strange contraption must be a toy, haha!

Good luck with the birds.. in Hawaii we were always afraid of the pigeons. They would dive at your car, and one rogue bird got brave and put a huge scar on Husband's nose. I didn't believe him until his superior backed it up with pictures and long-running jokes.

Heather's Happenings said...

I do feel people are judging me by whats in my cart because I do look to see what people have in there cart.

Suzi said...

ROFL...Absoulutey hysterical!
I have had the same thought regarding shopping carts!
The phone issue with Indy was great!
We have suicidal ducks here (2 have flown into my van..seriously, I didn't hit them, they hit me!)
Our black birds are creepy too. I am more frightened when I see a flock sitting on someone roof. Many scary thoughts flow through my head when I see that! (Is the house haunted?....along those lines!)
<3 it all! (li'l jam hands)

Nadine Hightower said...

I'm more worried about the medicated douche, red ruffled pantie, and 2 bottles of margarita mix in my cart than what food items that are in everyone elses!

I am waiting for Brad Pitt to wise up and he will. Every man needs a short chubby woman in their life. Brad will come knock on my door and I'm outta here. Roy knows it and he's okay with it.

Impulsive Addict said...

I totally never thought about checking out other people's carts at the store but now I will. I wonder what people say about me? Oh gosh. I'll have to start covering up all the bad stuff I buy with stuff from produce. Great.

I will kill my dog for a box of girl scout cookies. I'm on a diet. See what happens? I turn deadly.

Thanks for linking up with us!!! =)

Kristine said...

Hands you some pudding for your Johnny Depp pudding porn... ROFL!

Run DMT said...

OMIGOD! You seriously had me laughing out loud. Girl, you are nuts! From the girl scouts militia tactics to the FB Star Wars link, you had me giggling with every word.

Visiting here from Stacy's RTT and I'm so glad I did. :-)

Stacy Uncorked said...

I totally judge. And hide what other people would judge in my cart under the non-judge-y stuff. ;)

Helmet hair!!

Indy totally cracks me up. Now I want to show Princess Nagger a rotary phone to see if she comes up with the same thought about calling 911. ;)

OK, I concede - you can have Johnny Depp, I'll take Timothy Olyphant instead. ;)

Non-School Snow Day and School Non-Fun

Renee Living Laughing Loving said...

Love your random thoughts!! So many funny things and insights! Enjoyed reading!

gretchen said...

Excellent random!

I like to play a game at the grocery store, where I look at what people are buying and try to figure out their menu plan. You know, what fits together to make a recipe. I once told this to a checker and she stared at me like I was nuts.

My son had the same reaction to a rotary phone. It totally baffled him.

Decor To Adore said...

Ok the girl scout cookie quip had me in stitches.

I had to earn my badges going door to door. What is this table at the supermarket thing?

Shawn said...

I'm not sure I find Johnny sexy; interesting, entertaining and mysterious yes! I love to have dinner with him!

That is so funny because I am very guilty of that. I always try to get a glimpse of what's coming up on the belt behind me and who's getting ready to buy it. So judgmental of me I know but I just can't help myself!

That hair, I have no words!

I have no idea what your political views are and I would hate to say something to offend you so I'm choosing to not say anything about O, I can't even bring myself to write his name!

I try and buy 2 boxes from every girl that asked. I keep 2-4 for the house and send the rest to our troops! Because does't everyone love a thin mint and an ice cold glass of milk. Do they have ice cold milk wherever they are?

I'm scratching my head on this one. Why?

We were having trouble with our phone line, they aced me to plug a "real phone" into the jack outside to make sure the lines was still working. Yeah, like I have one of those just laying around.

Birds...what a creepy (in it's day) movie!

I know a few words in German the breeder we got our dogs from insisted I teach them to sit, lay, stay, heal and poop in German. Really!

THanks for linking up, I loved that you killed 2 birds with 1 stone!

Confessions of a Plate Addict said...

Loved your rants as always! I didn't know about Johnnmy Depp! So good to know he's available! lol I do peek in people's carts and hate to think what they think when they look in mine...cheese, cheese and more cheese! The birds in Lorraine were weird, too..some funny ducks with topknots and blackbirds that sing where ours just croak. NO colors like the cardinals, goldfinches or bluebirds we have here. I wonder why?
Have a great week!...hugs...Debbie

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